Musings Galore....

Me and my idiosyncrasies

2011-12-05T04:15:00.000-08:00

I am whacking tissues from the conference room. No wait. This isn’t stealing. Ok I am borrowing them. Shucks. I can’t be borrowing them since I am not returning them in the exact state I took them in. So what is it I am doing with the tissues?

I am helping myself to a few tissues from work, stuffing my already bloated and red nose into it and … wait for it…. ACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO . That was a whopper of a sneeze. Am I done? ACCCCCHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Well, not for a long time to come.

So I need to make this wretched over the top acting cold virus disappear forever so I can work and be more productive. Hence the tissue issue  I am doing this all for being a productive working professional. And using office stationery for official purpose is not stealing. NO. It is not.

Sniff Sniff… I am running out of tissues to stuff my nose with …. Annoying this cold is when it makes you want to tear your eyes off and those of who are healthy as well. Sigh…

Hindsight is the best sight and it is often the “never to find sight” just when you need it.

I know I should have said NO to the NUTTIES. I know should have said NO to the CRACKLES. I know I should have definitely said NO to the slurpy and drool worthy ALMOND ROCCA. Well, I obviously didn’t remember to do any of that and I have started the funeral preparations for my tooth.

Root Canal with those sharp, shiny and boring (as in drilling a hole) equipments is torture. So after quite some excavation, the mean evil dentists sucked the juice out of my living teeth and it has been laid to rest. There are quite a few sittings to suck this life out since I do have a tooth that perseveres and after every appointment – I feel my tooth is less alive.

On the TV front, I don’t quite hate the new Red Cell yet. I just don’t feel the energy and togetherness of the team as yet. The casting is so off :( though I like the cases this time around. Still it lacks the pizzazz and spunk. Maybe they are a newly formed unit and yet to get to know one another as well as the previous unit did. I miss Aaron Hotchner. I miss Reid; Even P is not her whole self in this new unit of Red Cell.

Coming to Movies,
Trespass – not bad
Cowboys vs. Aliens – what is the movie about? Why do aliens always attack only America – not that I am complaining: D
Conan the Barbarian - sucks
Ko - Not bad for a Tamil movie. Liked it
Hangover 2 - Do not please watch with parents, teenage cousins and kids

And seriously what is with the furor around Aishwarya Rai’s baby. Glad the hype and hoopla is over. Maids gossiping about it, naming the baby, selecting the dates, colleagues exchanging notes, horoscopes being discussed. I mean it’s a baby.

Get a life people and give me better gossip :D

Business Development

2011-04-26T22:07:00.000-07:00

My first solo experience in attending a workshop on behalf of my company was on March 18, 2011. The Workshop was on “Off-Shoring and Outsourcing Opportunities in Australia and the Asia-Pacific Region”.

The inaugural speaker focused on the growing importance of Australia as a destination of IT and BPO industries which we could capitalize on as our biggest strength today remains a good eco-system consisting of industry expertise, good physical infrastructure, academia and the government support.

As I was thinking about convergence of positions of India and Australia in several areas, I was also trying to count how many others had come in a similar capacity as me. On last count there were close to 110 delegates. Each and every person there was working out ideas in his/ her head to tap into the Australian IT market worth A$100-billion – including me

I was seated next to Ms. M and Mr. P. I broke the ice by talking to Ms. M and made formal introductions of the companies we represented. She was from the Accounting industry and I was talking IT. We then exchanged business cards. She, being a regular member to the workshops conducted by the Chamber told me she would introduce me to few other key members.

The next introduction happened with the other neighbor – Mr P who was CEO of his BPO outfit in Kerala. Exchange of business cards seemed to be a natural action my hands realized sooner than my brain did.

Hmmm now that was not so bad. That actually went mighty well – thinking so I settle to hear my first speaker. I actually liked what she spoke. Pity no one could give her a standing ovation like the other speakers received due to some confusion on the stage

Before I knew it – she left and it was tea break and a whole new ball game. I realized that it is one thing to talk to people whom you are sitting next to as conversations gravitate towards the known whereas it’s a whole new ball game when you are breaking lines, addressing random people who actually might be wanting to enjoy and savor their tea unaware that here I am - inviting them to listen to what I had to say about my company and what we had to offer and how we can synergize our common goals.

The constant worry running in the back of my mind is – "Will coffee/tea win over the business conversations?" because the coffee/ tea was exceptionally good :)

I decided to follow Ms. M’s lead. The first few introductions were courtesy her – to the organizers of the event and the Chamber representatives and that’s when I noticed a pattern. People would very easily slip in and out of groups of people huddled over a cup of coffee and move to newer groups and talk business.

During the tea break session I could do that only within 2 groups and I had downed 2 coffees. I decided to put on my skates at the next break and carry tons more of business cards.

I had a question to ask the next speaker as it concerned a bottleneck I (my company) was facing in a new venture undertaken involving the Government. I got his insights which sounded like workable solutions and made a mental note to talk to him in person later. After a few more questions, it was lunch break.

This time, though the lunch comprised of an exciting spread, I had work to do. I approached Mr. J and got involved in a deep conversation on the North Eastern belt of India which was our area of interest. We spoke about impact of mobile penetration and he offered suggestions on how we could improve the literacy levels of the farming community to enable them get the maximum benefits of our new venture. He also gave a couple of references so we could explore more avenues and obtain a wider berth in the NE belt.

Post lunch, I felt no inertia. I was still as keyed up as I was in the morning and heard to all the speakers. And the second time was easier. The second half – people approached me wanting to know what business house I was representing and what was our expertise. Experienced the chase and also had to chase few others. The best of both worlds

Left to Bangalore the same night with new experiences, lots more business cards than I arrived with, new connections I hope will lead to business expansion and good memories

I feel alive again .....

2010-09-28T22:11:00.000-07:00

I have been meaning to write for a long time now but I have always drawn a blank ... Its like my hands want to write but my mind does not budge.

I spoke about my childhood and memories of growing up - with someone recently - All I remember feeling from that conversation was - I was a bird soaring high. But I still could not write....... It was like there was this veil of cloud over my thoughts that were struggling to escape - the fight to break free started that day .....

A chance encounter today with a magnificent tree whose leaves were splayed in full glory at her footsteps - in a maze of colors honey, brown and green - touched a chord somewhere deep in me. The colors reminded me of a time back in childhood when everything was simpler ......... and the veil lifted finally - after a year

Tirunelveli -where I first learnt to appreciate life in all its simplicity - was a revelation and it shaped me and my sis to love people as they come into our lives

My earliest memory of Tirunelveli is checking into "Blue Star Hotel" where we were put up until dad got the stay arrangements finalized from the bank. I don't know if this hotel still exists - I would love to go see just it once.My dad, sis and I were suffering from Chicken Pox and I remember Mom keeping us all sane at that time what with all the mutual scratching we decided to gift one another in turns :)

MY HOUSE
No. 11,
Sivendipatty Road
Maharajanagar, Near Blind School
Tirunelveli, Tamilnadu

I wish to go back and see the house at the address above - where I grew up amidst the white and violet shoe flowers and tall wild grass in the front yard. I remember there being this cemented basement facility - where we had to climb down stairs and fill water in buckets and climb up. During rains - this would be filled to the brim with rain water. Thinking back - it was such an impractical construction. But I remember having made paper boats with my sister and parents and making them sail in our front yard in the muddy water.

I remember the bath area was outside the house and there was - what Sandy and I called - our own private magical forest with wild flowers, garden snakes, green moss along the edges of the backyard, view of the long railway track, sound of the train whistle. Sometimes Sandy and I would pretend we were the masters of the forest :)

MY NEIGHBOURS

I remember our house being opposite to Arthur Uncle's house who was an advocate. Next to his house was Mr. Swaran Singh, who was the IAS collector of that district. On the same lane as ours - was Avudiappan uncle who I hear is a big name in politics today. His was the last house of the lane. If I am not wrong - I think my dad drove himself and Avudiappan uncle into the ditch when he first started learning to ride the two wheeler :)

MY SCHOOL

Dad says that the first day - he took us to school walking - we kept stalling and were picking wild flowers from the road and filling our tiny pockets with them. He would call out Come Sowmya / Come Sandhya - and we would reply in baby shrill tones - Coming Daddy. He loves recounting this to date .........

I have dreamt of this school where I studied Std I to Std IV - several times. In my dreams - I remember being drawn by some invisible force till the huge gates. I remember the vast muddy expanse of land in front of the gates and stopping right at the entrance. I have always felt she is calling me, asking me to come visit. SJSSJS - Shree Jeyandra Saraswati Swamigal Silver Jubilee School - that's the school I studied for 4 glorious years.

I want to see if the fence through which I used to escape out of the school campus at lunch times with my sis and girl friends - remains in some recognizable fashion or has it fallen victim to the new times and conventions. I remember dragging Sandy's tiny hands and running with Ranjani and her sister Ragini to their place which was the closest. We would unpack our home made lunches there and Ranjani's mom would always make us fresh curd rice. Then we would huff and puff and run back to school in time for the classes after lunch.

I want to see if the classrooms and the staff rooms look and feel the same. I remember the hot breeze in summers that would make the huge trees sway and cast an enormously huge shade. I remember eating few lunches under this shade. I made my first set of best friends here - Arundathi and Ranjani. I am in touch with Ranjani. Have never been able to locate Arundathi though and I have not stopped looking.

I want to see if the assembly podium still stands in its semi circular pattern with steps leading up. I want to see if the flag pole stands in the corner there with the waving flag.

I am keeping my mind open to the definite possibility of there being a radical change in the entire vision I have in my head of this beautiful simple place. I am sure I will be saddened at having come too late. But visit her I will .... soon .... and it will be one of the highlights of my life. I hope, despite all these visual changes - the essence of the place remains as I remember it - warm and welcoming

Wait for me Tirunelveli. Falling in love all over again and its a beautiful and magical feeling...............

Quirks and Me

2009-10-29T03:44:00.000-07:00

1. I am discovering me slowly.

2. As shy as I am when it comes to dancing, I am equally outgoing and social when it comes to wooing a crowd of new people.

3. I used to think vegetables and fruits were living organisms who feel pain. Till 5 years back, I used to eat and then privately apologize to them.

4. I love water – I am a water buffalo. I can just stand underneath the shower for hours and hours together – Don't ever approach me for the "Water Conservation” ad. However I cannot bathe in cold water. The moment cold water hits my head / body; I feel breathless. I think maybe somebody tried drowning me when I was young and hence this reaction

5. I wake up on Mondays flailing my hands out – trying to reach for a big stone to throw on the clock / mobile.

6. I remember my dreams. Is this normal? Is there anyone out there who can?

7. I like half boiled vegetables. I must have been Chinese in my previous birth.

8. I do a jump, squeal, heart attack routine first. Then appear paralyzed. Then I do the die, go-to-hell & come-back-to-earth routine. For what you may ask.
My answer is one word – The Cockroach

9. I am a sucker for sob stories. I will offer you my shoulder and let you rob me of my jewels too in the bargain. I am learning to watch with a discerning eye of late. Not working very well.

10. I like trying new cuisines. Going to a restaurant, I do not like ordering what I ordered before. Very rarely do I repeat items (only when it's really lip smacking and is the right quantity)

11. I don't like sharing food I find lip smacking. That way I am like Joey. Friends and family know that I share my food only when
a. I have eaten till my heart's content and can't put another morsel in my mouth.
b. I don't like the food

When I am hungry, I get a headache. I get murderous instincts when I am starved. People start looking like Tangy pasta / big cauliflower florets / Salads / Rolls / Burgers / Chats – in one word - food; so when I am hungry – feed me or stay away from me. I am ferocious.

I can be appeased at such times with just 1 slice of bread. Something to tell my brain – more food is following. And I can go hungry for 2 -3 hours again.

I like eating in small portions and enjoy having many small meals. I can eat anything any time. I can eat pasta (cold / hot) for breakfast. I can have chats for dinner. I can also eat idli / dosa for lunch. The only exception to the above rule is sweets. I don't like sweets with the rare exception of – Rasmalai. All other sweets– are distributed away to friends and family. I am not a sweet person ( ;) no pun intended).

12. I love my family 90% of the times. The remaining 10% of the times, my thoughts range from "Was I born to them?” To "Oh they are so ingratiating” to "Gosh I need silence"

We are a unique nutty family and I love them more so because of their faults – not despite their faults

13. I am very loyal - This is an invitation for people to come exploit me

14. In summers, my big toe has to be uncovered so I can feel the cool air from the fan. This cools me down.

15. I have to read a book – actual or e-book when I need to take a bio break. At my office, I smuggle the newspapers when I have to go downtown

16. I am extremely uncomfortable when someone pays me a compliment. I wish the earth would open up and swallow me. My ears get hot. My cheeks get hot. I wish I were invisible.

17. Once I get on a cleaning spree, I am unstoppable and a pain in the rear for other co-helpers

Murphy's Law

2009-02-24T23:12:00.000-08:00

When something has to go wrong, it always will. And when everything has to go wrong, it most certainly will.

This happened on November 21 2008 on Friday. I had to go to Trichy for my brother's engagement and was to be away for the weekend. I had informed my TL of this before.

Rewind to Wednesday Night

I had to give mom a cheque for Rs. 1300. And I gave it to her dated Nov 2o 2008 forgetting that my account balance was less. After giving the cheque I realized this and told her to hold it for 2 more days as the online transfer of money would have solved the problem.

I repeatedly told amma and appa to deposit the cheque after Trichy Trip.

Rewind to Thursday Morning

2pm I get a call from my frantic dad. He had supposedly asked amma to drop a couple of cheques in the morning. In the afternoon, while he was ironing his clothes, mom happened to say that she dropped mine too. Abandoning the hot iron and crinkled clothes, he rushed to the bank to realize the cheque had gone for clearing.T My bank was closed by the time I could make any cash deposit. I had to wait.... an endless wait not knowing what was going to happen. All I could think was, my perfect record at the bank had good chances of taking a beating .

Fast Forward to Friday Morning

I rushed to the bank at 10am. I was the first customer.On being summoned I deposited cash. I also asked them if they saw any cheque that had come for clearing and they said No. I was happy I had done damage control and went to work. Wrapped up all loose ends when my boss calls me in for a meeting. Its 3.30 and appa was waiting outside. He had come to pick me up on the way back from his office. The meeting lasted 45 minutes with me squirming for some part because I had a train to catch.

My boss had apparently not known about my leave and was wild. There were talks about Saturday becoming a full working day and so on and so forth. Finally, I took leave.

I did not look up at appa who had waited so long. He didn't utter a word. I was desolate and really upset. After reaching home, I changed up and got ready for the trip when I had to go out for an errand.

Of all the days, today, I had to leave the headlights on. Now I am careful and try my best to be really responsible, but what could I do when fates conspired against me and made me erratic? So I was greeted by a car that coughed and spluttered on my face when I tried to start it. My car battery died a premature death and my car refused to budge. I had to be home in twenty minutes to leave to the station.

I looked around, saw a few security guards outside a residential apartment and asked for their help. Now I had not faced this situation before and I did not know how to handle the car when it kicked in after people pushing it.

So the security guard took my car and said he will take it for a small drive and get it back. Meanwhile I called dad and he said nothing. If he had atleast scolded me it would have been better. His silence was killing me. He said leave the car and get back. I mean what else could we do? I then called my friend Darshan, to come and help me. He came in his car and at that precise moment the security guard got my car back.

I had half thought he would run away with it. Darshan asked me to follow him and asked me not to stop at any point of time. He said if I stopped, I would have to push the car and that was not an option. He took me through all the lanes and we bypassed all the signals. I was quietly following him and I reached home. I just parked the car, I was seeing double when I realized there were some water pools that had collected in my eyes. I even forgot to thank him and just got inside.

All the way to the station, I was thinking about the day's events. The result was I got paranoid. I kept asking my folks if they had the tickets - onward and return. If the car we were traveling in, had sufficient fuel. After all assurances I started to relax.

We arrived at the station and I got my next shock. I received a message saying that the cheque had bounced and the penalty was Rs. 350 which was debited from my account. I called customer care and all they could say was, unusually, of all the days, the cheques had gone to clearing at 7 am in the morning and my deposit was at 10.

Mom and dad tried consoling me but I was beyond consolation. I felt like I had been hexed. After a while, I just started laughing. I sure did get crazy then.

It was time for the train to come and our compartment was S11. What we did not know then was that a new compartment had been added. My family bore the brunt for my cursed state :) and needless to say we entered the wrong compartment.

Imagine our horror. Dad alighted to find out which was our compartment and the train started moving. Mom, Sandy(my sister) and I in the wrong compartment and dad's position unknown. Did he get on to another compartment? We did not know....

The best thing about the wrong compartment was that there was no connecting passage to the next compartment. We had to get out and then move. We could not even connect to dad as the signal was weak. By this time, Mom and Sandy were looking fearfully at me. That's what I would like to think so, despite their reassurances.

Nothing, I repeat, nothing was right with me.

Then after 3 stations, we finally could call dad. It was nearing 9.45 pm. He said there was a railway track ahead and that the train would halt for 15 minutes. We had 3 heavy suitcases amongst us. He asked us to be ready to leave immediately. The train stopped and dad came along with another relative who was luckily in the same train as us. But he suffered from asthma and we didn't want him to strain himself.

Dad asked me to carry the biggest. I am physically frail looking but I am strong. However the journey to the other compartment was nothing like I thought it would be. The way was uneven and pebbles lined the entire stretch. I kept slipping as my slippers were not flat. And dad kept urging me to move fast. He said he was turning back to get my mom & sister and asked me to lookout for my relative. It was one of the most frightening moments in my life. I kept thinking the train would start moving just when I was midway between compartments and I would be the only one who would be left back.

Luckily for me, the curse must have started to weaken or decided to grab another victim. I reached the compartment, hand bruised from the branches on the trees, shoulder hurting carrying that suitcase. But within 5 minutes, all four of us rejoined and the train started to move. That sure was a close call and I hugged all of them.

Oscars

2009-02-24T22:35:00.000-08:00

I watched Slumdog Millionaire on Jan 24th. A well taken movie as it treads the same old subject of winning when all odds are stacked against you. So, message wise, the movie had nothing new to offer.

I loved the kids in the movie and I think they truly deserve all accolades for emoting so well and naturally.

Frieda was ok. Dev was better.

Being an ardent fan of A R Rehman, I am truly happy he got the oscars. However, I feel its a misplaced reward for the only reason that he has created far superior music gems in the past. And in comparison, "Jai Ho" was an average score. The lyrics by Gulzar showcased triumph of the human spirit and I liked it.

A R Rehman's music apart, his humility and down-to-earth demeanour is praise worthy. That he spoke Tamil speaks volumes about how praise and laurels will never make him forget his humble rise from roots.

Anil Kapoor was anything but subtle in his acting :).

Each character was well etched. The police station and the cops. The blind young boy(That was the most painful part of the movie for me) and the older brother.

I learnt one thing.... Two brothers who grew up in the same environment, grew up to have completely different traits in nature and that made me wonder. We are not entirely, what the society makes us to be.

We become what we want to. Society takes the praise or criticism as the case is.

Last Friday

2008-10-31T10:07:00.000-07:00

I came in to work last Friday chirpier than usual. It was going to be a 4 day long weekend. And I was happy. I was almost thankful to "The killing of Narakasura" and Diwali of course. There I almost forgot mentioning it.

I was scanning the cabin to find the whereabouts of my chair. The maid, while sweeping and swabbing must have re-allocated my (now missing)chair.

This butt is one interesting ensemble. Once it gets accustomed to a surface, you should hear it scream in agony at change. You see I could never sit on another chair but mine.(Well it actually is company property but I am seriously thinking of taking it along with me on my way out(if and when I leave the organization). I mean I have nurtured it for so long and if all this reasoning does not work, then I am going emotional. The chair will be desolate without me :)

Aah there I spot it. My Chair(MC) has veered out of the cabin and is looking .... How do I put it....ummmm...... ha inquisitive. Oh that heartless maid.... now she has gone and sparked the curiosity of MC. God forbid if MC falls in love with somebody else...... Then what of me?

I pull MC towards my sleek computer. While others have gray keyboard, black monitor and in some cases an all white outfit, mine looks like a silky panther. Oh I love looking at him.

I switch on the monitor and log on. Sometimes I wish I had read a shorter book with an interesting title. Because my current system password is 14 characters and my fingers are ready to sue Ayn Rand. Oops, my typing fingers gave out my password now... well almost...... Change is in motion. I love change. I am going to have a swanky new password now. What do I change it to?

I'll worry about it later and see whose book I can rip up for my selfish motives in getting my new password. Ayn Rand move over. ROW(Rest of the World) beware..... There is an evil laughter in my head right now and I love the sound of it. I am tired of being good. Change is in motion.... I am using this term so often I think I should make it my anthem. More evil laughter in the background....... Ee ha ha ha ha ha ha

I stop... wait. Cant I be original in an evil laugh at least? Do I have to rip of some old Tamil movie villain laughter? It is definitely evil sounding and resonating..... which reminds me I need to add a scowl on my face for the complete "evil me" look. I am almost tempted by the concept of two horns on my head, but in my head(strictly in mine), I look too comical and I burst out laughing. That's spoils the evil character I had made up. Cant gather so much energy again to continue. Phew......

I remember what Calvin says once.... "Do I have to work for everything? Its like saying I don't deserve it". True True.... One Hundred Percent.... That kid needs an international award at sarcastic reality. I love the kid. I mean as long as he is somebody else's kid ..... Whoa I see white hair sprouting by the dozen just imagining him as my kid.

Wait I am not even married. And I am thinking of a kid. If my parents could hear the thoughts in my head, I am sure they would be rolling their eyes.

My parents..... I always get distracted at this point. The other day we were watching an English movie on HBO. Of late they come with subtitles so sometimes when there is a lot of (good) noise at home(which is always by the way), one can still follow these movies.

Queen Latifah is standing in an alley with a young fella (just wanted to feel that word in my tongue).... kinda sounds nice to me. Casual, Hip ... Sigh....

Yeah so he asks her some money and she says she wont give him money as she is afraid he'll spend it on drugs and then gives him condoms as she works for an AIDS prevention welfare organization. In the next scene, she is talking to her daughter and giving the condoms to her daughter's boyfriend. And says be safe or something to that extent.

We were having dinner on the floor and watching the movie when dad said the movie was subtle, not overboard and yet managed to convey a valuable message. I am a trouble maker. I make people confront what they are painfully shy about in a comical way.

So I said: Amma Appa I have never seen a condom in my life. I was stifling my laugh when I said this because it was so brash of me and their reaction was hilarious. Mom started to explain. Actually explain.... the different kinds and texture and even flavor. Dad was squirming but having a teeny smile on his face.

Now honestly I have never seen a condom in my life. I have just heard various bizarre explanation and even diagrams from married friends. So this was a revelation. I mean my parents..... And then I realized something. I was shy discussing it while mom was going ahead in full gusto. I just squealed and ran out with my dinner plate.

Mom and Dad were rolling on the floor and laughing. This time, my attempt backfired :)

I am reading what I have written and I realize how restless a person I am. I mean I m jumping from Office to Butt to MC to Calvin to Parents and Condoms. Phew.... I tire myself :)

Hanumanthappa

2008-10-14T08:56:00.000-07:00

My parents always think I am too forthright and bold for my good and are a little afraid about this quality in me.

What I am about to narrate happened a year ago and I don't know what to make of it.

I got of as usual at the silk board junction and I saw a handicapped man. He was dragging himself on his hands as he could not walk. I could not tear my eyes away from him.

I saw him go and seek alms from all the people who were waiting at the signal. He might have gotten 15 rupees. I waited for the signal to turn green and went to him. I gave him 10 rupees and told him I ll be back again tomorrow.

In the course of my conversation I learnt his name was Hanumanthappa. He had been left by his family here, under the overhead bridge as he was a handicap. And so he had resorted to begging. He spoke in Telugu, a language I don't understand at all save a few words.

I tried conveying to him I ll be back tomorrow and felt a weight in my heart. He probably had never been spoken to before. He was dirty. I did not feel repulsed. I don't know why. I held his hand and reaffirmed I ll come tomorrow in hand gestures.

I should tell you that in the course of this conversation, the next lot of vehicles had stopped at the signal and were looking at us in a strange manner. I am ashamed to say that, I felt uncomfortable in the glare of all the people. And convincing him as best as I could, I trudged on my way to work.

My heart was heavy, I felt tears smart my eyes. I mean, I had a lovely family who would go to any distance for me. And here was this man, who was not wanted, who had been discarded like he was trash.

I wanted to do something. I called up my cousin who worked with the Times as a journalist. I asked her for organizations that cared for the unwanted. I had made up my mind. I was going to get him off the streets and be self sufficient. I did not want him begging.

She gave me a number to Miss. Lillian De Costa who ran a charitable organization. She was out of station and would be back the next day I was told.

Next day, I got of at the signal. He was there. I went to him and asked him in English and Kannada alternatively, if he would give up begging if I could find a way for him to get money. He didn't say anything. I told him I would get him enrolled into a charitable organization where he would be expected to work according to his abilities and he would be paid for it. I am not sure if he understood. But he nodded yes. I said I ll be back again.

And I contacted Lillian who said she would send a man who spoke Telugu. I asked her to send the volunteer in the morning when I would be there. I told her I would like to accompany him in enrolling him. I don't know why I told her that I was convinced he wanted to be of the streets.

Next two days the volunteer was held up in another work. And I would go talk to Hanumanthappa. He now had a smile on his face when he saw me coming.

Finally the day came when the volunteer arrived. I was in for a shock. Hanumanthappa did not want to go anywhere. He had been under the impression I was going to give him money it seems.

He said he made close to 300 Rs a day begging under the bridge. He said he would never get that kinda money working anywhere. I was at a loss for words and apologized profusely to the volunteer for making him come all the way.

I did not understand it. Maybe he had gotten too dependent on the easy money or maybe he just did not want to earn working hard. The volunteer gave me his card and said there were other ways I could help people and asked me to come over to the office sometime and see how I could be of help.

When I told my best friend this, he said "You were always a sucker for sob stories"...... and he left it tailing at that.

My parents were momentarily afraid, concerned about my safety, thinking I might have gotten to the organization all by myself taking Mr. Hanumanthappa along. Then they said they were sorry it did not work out.

My sister laughed on my face and then stopped on seeing the hurt look on my face.

I have wanted to stop thinking about the incident. Tried real hard. Tried to turn my face away when I see a woman begging with her child on the streets under the humid heat. Tried to convince myself that given a chance, they might want more from themselves.

I stopped when a beggar woman I approached screamed at me in Hindi saying I was spoiling her life when all I did was tell her to find a job as a labourer at construction sites and even told her the name of Domlur Sabha(an org in my area that works somewhat like Rotary) where her kids could study free of cost.

She refused outright and spit on the road. I was hurt that she could not see for her what I saw for her. I came home and cried. I was of no help to both the people whose cause I had taken up.

Some days after that I saw Hanumanthappa in an inebriated state under the bridge. Flies hovering around his face. I felt my chest and throat constrict. I could not swallow.

I still cant explain or put in words what these experiences have taught me. I don't know if I have learnt to leave people alone. Maybe I should.........

Mom and Dad - Part 1 of Infinity

2008-09-25T09:21:00.000-07:00

Raja is my mom and Aiyyappa is my dad. Thats what they call one another.... The endearment is mushy even after all these years.

Mom: You know what??? And a family tale is being told here.
Dad: Rama.... Lets not talk about mess. Lets watch this serial. This mad house situation is comic. Each one is competing for that " Cheekh ho to aisi ho varna na ho " intending that Reliance advertisement

Mom: Enna(Another endearment in our language).... but why are we not going there? Dont they like us?
Dad: Raja its not like a family get together is it? And I cannot come. I will not get leave from work.

Mom: Hmmmmm..... but still....
At this point, dad says in a louder tone, U know you should not gossip about such things. They may have their reasons. And these kinds of conversations are not healthy.

Mom: Gosh... You are so touchy? Why are you thinking I am taking a dig at your family when all I am asking are innocent questions. You are the one who is misinterpreting and twisting the entire meaning.

Dad did something so unpredictable. He started laughing. Gosh you are impossible. And the entire argument got lost in happy tears :)

By the way, my parents are related so all the bickering about the family is the same family realted to both sides :)

I realized then that humor was such a great way to diffuse an uneasy situation. I love my parents especially my mother for bringing laughter into our house and being the pillar that supports all of us.

We would be lost, especially my dad, but for her.

I have never looked beyond my parents as an example of the best couple. By this I do not mean that they are perfect. Both have their imperfections...... but they are like 2 halves that are incomplete when separate.

Together they are one.

Amma and Appa, I am gonna use you as my characters in some stories I wish to regale in the future. You are my heroes :)

No Longer a Rat

2008-09-07T07:18:00.000-07:00

What am I ? At the end of the day, I am a rat in the rat race. What do I want to be years down the line?

There are many smart, well-thought out and correct answers I could give...... answers that could help job seekers immensely.

But what do I really want? I want an adventure. I want something different from my life and this time around its not about the money. It was never about the money. Things can get screwed up when money is given over emphasis. I am tired.

Its like having a multi-heading hydra monster. You take out one head, another new one pops out.

Expectations..... Its like too much of sugar. Its annoyingly sweet but too much.

I am 25 and I want to do things differently. Why? I hate being one amongst the innumerable rats. And I hate running.

The Swim

2008-07-20T08:16:00.000-07:00

I was born in Bangalore and exported to Bombay :) and came to Tirunelveli to begin Standard I.

One of the simplest, down to earth and the loveliest places I have ever stayed in - Tirunelveli. The people were very very helpful and kind. It is a small town in Tamil Nadu. The local language was Tamil. My sister and I would only speak in English and never learnt Tamil(incidentally our mother tongue) till a year later. Everyone thought my parents were North Indians as they were fair skinned until they started to speak Tamil.

We stayed in Maharajanagar, a small locality. There were two rows of houses separated by a road between. During rains, my front yard would get flooded and we would float paper boats. Those were fun times - muddy water, the smell of wet earth just before the rains, school holidays and the skies.

I have never seen the skies having so many shades of blue and gray. It was like looking through a smoky glass. I spent 4 years here - I Std to IV Std.

There were lots of kids to play and we were a boisterous bunch. Boys would join us in the cooking game and we would join them in the exploring. There was a railway track which I could see from my backyard which had wild plants growing but none harmful. We could enter my house from the front door also and the back door too.

The normal day began with the train whistling past and it was a sign that all was well.

Beyond our two row of houses were vacant plots. The area was not developed and it gave us kids ample space to roll in the muddy brown plots and come back. There were no Surf and Aerial ads then. I am sure our clothes would have given them a run for their money.

It had been raining incessantly for a week now and we were all restless having been cooped inside. When the rains ceased, we were out before you could say the word "Abracadabra". We found a pond that had formed in the "Restricted Area" and we decided to there at 5pm. I still remember what I wore. Funny how some things stick in our memory and others don't.

It was a white satin frock with short sleeves and pink and lavender flowers all over. It was made from the "Garden" material which never looks worn out. One can wear it for years and it still would like reasonably new. It also had a white belt with lavender tips.

The pond was big. It looked like the sea to my eyes. I didn't know swimming and neither did my sister. All of us held hands and started wading inside from one end of the assembly line . White frock could go to hell ha ha ha ha. We were about 9 of us. Five boys and 4 girls. I was the third from one end and my sister was in the other end holding the hand of a bigger guy.

It was scary. My heart was beating but there was an adrenaline rush and excitement at doing something taboo. The first guy and girl entered and then I did. In a minute all of us were in the pond. The water came up below my knee. The water was not very muddy and we could see little fish swimming around.

My end of the line decided to move one step inside. But they did not communicate correctly or I did not decipher correctly and I moved in too fast and slipped on something slimy. I went under water and thought I was going to die when I realized all I had done was wet myself head to toe as the water was not that deep.

All of us got scared then. The evening sun had gone out and it was getting cool. I started shivering. All of us receded back. The other end which included my sister had escaped without getting wet. Being a plotter, I told my sister and friends how I could avoid getting beatings from mom.

I told my relatively dry friends and sister to go via the front door and keep my mom busy by talking to her. I then asked my sister to get me a fresh frock and come to the back door. The bathroom was outside the house. I thought I will change up and come from the front door.

If mom asked where I was, my sis was to tell that I was at the neighbor's place. The plan seemed fool proof to my 9 year old brain. Since mom had not seen me leaving the house, she would not realize which frock I had worn.

The plan would have been foolproof had the villain not arrived--- My father. Dad usually came in by 7. That day he came in by 6. When fates conspire, what could I, an ordinary little girl do?

So when my friends and sister went up the front door, my dad opened the door. I can't imagine what their expressions would have been... Flabbergasted??? I wish I had been there :) Now it seems funny... Then it was terrifying......

Their jaws must have dropped. Dad was surprised to see the entire army save one soldier at his front door it seems. While they kept my dad distracted, my ever smart mom(Like daughter- So mom :) ) was watchful. My little sister tried slipping inside the bedroom and picking a frock. She almost made it to the back door and opened the latch after ensuring the curtain that hid the back door was in place.

My mom must have followed her because, when my sister opened the door for me, my eyes popped out and my jaw dropped. Because, standing a distance behind my sister was my mom. And there I was wet from head to foot, frock soaking wet. My sister unaware of mom behind her little frame, said "Akka(Big Sister) put this on and handed the frock to me".

After my friends bade a hasty exit, All hell broke loose and I got the first whack of my life, on my bum. And the first long lecture that just went on and on and on. I promised I would never do something so foolish and never try to cover it up with my hair brained brainwaves.

I promised solemnly. And under my breath added never to get caught.... :)

But I was a good kid... A normal kid who played pranks.... But always the safe pranks thereafter, because I quite did not like the experience of swallowing all that weed filled slightly dirty water. And my mom kept scaring me that weeds were going to sprout out of my mouth and I was going to become a hairy monster.

Parents... I tell you.... They know how to scare the shit out of their kids. I used to wash my mouth several times a day for a week after until I chanced upon my parents laughing about it. I was relieved and joined in the laughter.

The good thing about this incident was - An enclosure was put around the pond for safety and to keep curious, inquisitive kids like us out.

Dreams....... Part I

2008-07-19T08:29:00.000-07:00

Do people remember their dreams?? Do they have just hazy recollections of what they see or do they simply experience the emotions of the dreams - happiness, sadness, anger, disappointments but not the actual event?

I wonder......

I remember every detail about my dreams. I wish I could not.....

Since my dad works for the bank, a transfer every 3 years is a part and parcel of our lives. There was this time we were stationed in Delhi.

It was a cold freezing night and the heater was on in the room that I shared with my sister. We were under the "rajai" - local term for a thick blanket that was essential to keep oneself warm in the harsh winters of Delhi. We had picked up four. Maroon for my sister, Blue for mom, Green for dad and Orange was mine.

I have always been able to sleep instantly. All I need is a pillow and blanket. In mild summers, I would keep my big toe outside for some cooling and in winters my feet had to be warm for me to fall asleep. I was a sight in my long pink T shirt having a big Teddy, pj's, socks, cotton in my ears and gloves - Cold discomforted me.

That night, I slept at around 10pm. I am with my family in my school bus.... This is how my dream began, innocuously.

I am sitting with my sis, mom and dad are together and children alighting the bus at their respective stops. I remember all of us laughing at something driver uncle (I used to call him that) remarked.

Suddenly dad got off at a stop and I look in surprise to see that none of us are alighting with him. My sis and I move to the seat behind my mother, lest she feels alone.

After two stops, she also gets off and my sis and I remain behind. We are upset but putting a brave front.

The driver uncle stops after a while and we are the only two passengers left. He says the bus would go no further, that it was the last stop.

My sister and I get off and there is this long brightly lit tunnel. My sister and I start walking towards it, holding hands. After covering a few meters, the lights go off in the tunnel and I feel the grip on my sister's hand slackening. I try holding harder and the faster her hands slip out. When the lights came back after a few minutes, I stood all alone in the middle of the tunnel.

I woke up crying inconsolably. I was trembling and my sister could not hold me. My parents came rushing inside and it was only when I saw that I still had them, my crying stopped but the sobs continued. My mom applied "Vibhuti" ( holy ash meant to ward of negative energy) on my forehead. I could not sleep for a long time that night. I held my sisters' hand and finally in exhaustion dozed off. We all slept together that night.

I told my parents and my sister about the dream in the morning as my mom had once told me that if dreams were spoken out aloud they never came true.

They dismissed it as just a dream and I was asked to pray to God :) which I did :)

Exactly a year later, I finished XIIth and my sister finished Xth. There were talks about dad getting a transfer to Bangalore(All of our relations are here, so this was really good news) and we all came down to Bangalore to spend a week, find colleges for the both of us. After finalizing it all, came the shocker. Dad did not get the transfer.

When we had first gotten a transfer from Chennai to Delhi, it had been decided that Dad would stay in Delhi and the three of us- me, my mom and my sis would remain in Chennai as studies were crucial. I had put up a big fight. I said I would not leave my dad alone and that I would go to Delhi and stay with him and even cook for him. I refused to go to the new school in Chennai. Childish adamancy some might say....

How would anybody know what it means for a child to be separated from either of the parents? Unless one has gone through it, words mean nothing.

I remember when my dad left to Delhi, how much we all cried. Bringing those memories to surface today also make my eyes moisten. I had to be dragged at the airport. Thats when mom decided we would all go to Delhi. She could not see my and my sister crying all day long and breaking sown on phone whenever dad used to call from Delhi.

So when a repeat of that happened, with the three of us here and dad having to complete a year in Delhi, mom put her foot down and said we had to stay put in Bangalore while dad finished his tenure and joined us.

There was no repeat and we lived in our own house in Tippasandra, Bangalore. My college was reopening a month or so later as the thespian "Dr. Rajkumar" had been kidnapped and all normal activity ceased in Bangalore.

So we all went back to Delhi to spend time with dad for a month. When we landed, we were shocked to see dad unwell. Being an asthamatic and having to fend for himself without mom had left him really weak and taken a toll on his health . Mom decided her husband needed her and told us she would stay back.

This came as a shock as we would now return as two. The day we had to leave we told our parents not to come to the airport, but they did not listen. I remember getting inside the airport for the check and a sheet of glass separated my parents and us. We just kept palm on palm on either side of the glass and crying. My sister and I had only one another now.

We returned to our house and my periamma(mom's elder sister) came to look after us. It was never the same. But that separation taught us lessons of life. We had to fend for ourselves.

The first two portions of my dream had come true. Dad left first and then mom and followed.

A year later.... My dad got transferred to Mangalore. My sister got admission to XIIth and then "BANG". My course was unavailable in Mangalore.

Everyone left me and went to Mangalore and I was left alone. It took 5 years for them to rejoin me. Many incidents happened in these years to shape me as a human being and I am proud of who I am today. Though there are times I wish my parents had been with me, for me.......

...... to be contd

Intruder at night

2008-06-10T05:29:00.000-07:00

I reached home late from work one Thursday night. I gave a “ I am tired today--- Don't disturb me right now ” look to my dad, who was sprawling across the divan and mom who was on the couch. I dropped my bag on the side table in my room and went to refresh myself. As I entered the bathroom to wash my feet and hands, I had a strange sensation that I was being watched. I felt a prickling on the back of my neck.

I looked around immediately. There was no one. I did not search in the dark areas as I fear the dark. I must have taken quite some time as my mum put her head inside and saw me standing still.

She startled me by asking , “What are you doing? Not coming for dinner?

I said, I ll be there. I went to my room, changed into my night clothes all along keeping my room door slightly open. I then entered the hall to have dinner with my family. I tried to remain calm. I finished my dinner and proceeded to sleep.

Since my grandfather was staying with us then, my cousin used to sleep in the bedroom along with me and my sister. My sister and I on the cot while she used to put her mattress, in the space after the cot.

Both my cousin and sister come in late. So I was awake till around 11.30 poring through my books keeping two lights on. It was cold. And I was distracted by “God knows what”? All calm was broken when both the devils arrived almost one after the other. While they were devouring dinner, I put aside the books and got ready to sleep as I knew any studying then was pointless. But I was also relived I was not alone in my room anymore. After the usual chitchat each one of us proceeded to sleep around 12.10.

All of us were tucked in comfortably when we realized that the tube light was still on. None of us wanted to get out of the warm cozy blanket. And suddenly, both my cousin and sister were asleep. I knew it was all a pretense just so they didn't have to wake up. Since I can't sleep with the light on, I had no choice. I got up, switched off the light and dived under my blanket in case some ghost caught my legs. I don't know why I was getting images of the “Ring” ghost with long hair. To calm my frayed nerves I read some e-books on my phone. In half hour, my eyes started getting heavy and I could not keep them open. I drifted off into sleep.

It must have been around 3am. I am not sure. I was trying to scream.... I could not find my voice. It was like I was choking seeing something horrifying in my dream and my throat felt like there was cement stuffed down my throat. And suddenly I managed to shake away the dreadful feeling and screamed “Ma”. Hearing to my scream, my sister also screamed. I sat up and was sitting up looking shell shocked. My sister immediately switched on the light and asked me what the matter was.

My cousin sat there saying nothing, but looking sleepy and angry. I said something touched me. It was real. My sister was my “Knight in Shining Armour”. She immediately looked around and we all saw the culprit. It was a wretched cockroach. It must have brushed past my face. My sister immediately got in action, picked up “MY” slippers and went Whack Whack Whack. She missed.

Then I turned my anger to my cousin. I told her that it was her unwashed clothes kept in a disarray next to my cot, that made the cockroach visit me. I was also throwing my frustration at her that she did nothing to help me when I was terrified. She said she almost died of a heart attack listening to our screams and that she would have died without even knowing the reason for her death. At this we all started laughing.

And my mom came in like the Indian Police, at the end of all the action asking what the commotion was about? We recounted the tale and my cousin got yet another earful for her dirty clothes and my mom left the room.

After my mom left, we were still smiling with my cousin exclaiming what an exciting night it was. My sister was tired and she wanted to sleep. And the tube light was on :). This time we bullied our cousin to switch it off.

I was restless and could not get back to sleep. I proceeded to ask them how my scream was? And I got the quieter repeat version of it from my cousin who also mimicked my sister's scream which was hilarious listening to, after the incident.

I had one last question. Was my scream blood curling? My cousin said NO. I asked again : Was it spine chilling? She again said NO. My sister was getting annoyed and she said Your scream was heart stopping and a killer scream at that. And that if I did not shut up, she was going to kill us both with her bare hands. That put us in place and we went back to sleep.

I didn't sleep immediately. I was happy my scream had been heart stopping. Good I could scare somebody too. Suddenly a thought struck. If the cockroach had not been there, I would have still been in the grip of that nightmare. I silently apologized for having called it wretched and thanked him for having saved me from my nightmare. I then went to sleep peacefully :)

One way or the other

2008-05-16T03:21:00.000-07:00

My office is in Silk Board and I travel by bus everyday. There are two places I can alight, to get to work.

One is at the Silk Board traffic signal (Purple Line) and the Silk Board bus stop (Blue Line).

In the past, I have taken both routes. But I realized that there was a difference.

About the Signal

Background Details : The waiting time at this signal is close to 15 minutes. And when the signal changes to “GREEN”, only the first lot of the vehicles who are in the fore, get to move ahead. By the time, the second lot get near the signal, its “RED” and there starts the wait again.

Route 1 – Getting of at the signal

99% of the times I have gotten off here.

Now alighting here is not a safe option for the fact that most of the vehicles who have been zooming behind the bus, might not expect the passengers to get off.

However, this having become a routine, I guess all drivers are cautious when there is a bus ahead and don't try overtaking from the left side just to get ahead and wait for the signal :) and thankfully there have been no incidents in all the 2 years I have been traveling.

So I get off at this junction, walk till the signal, take a U Turn and cross the road. Then I go straight ahead and take the left at the bridge(over the drain). The entry to the bridge is a sudden big upward slope. In the rare rare event I bring my car, I maneuver very carefully on 1st gear.

So when I am at the bridge, I usually turn around and see that the bus I alighted from is still waiting for the signal to change.

Now the road after the bridge is so botched up that it cant be called a road actually. It is bumpy,has many ups and downs, potholes,stones and a drainage also on the side. It takes some skill to walk here., but it is an interesting road.

I once saw camels here. I have seen 2 cars skilfully try to drive along horizontally, failing which one backs off and lets the other move ahead.

Once during heavy rains, the dirty waters from the drainage were swirling here with such force that a colleague and I who held hands and braved that road, were waist deep in water and were thrown back many a time. And the lone electric pole was spewing sparks finally having gotten some attention after years of neglect.I thought I was going to die.That was some experience.

Ok so this walk on the "interesting" road lasts 15 minutes and I reach office. Now to the next route

About the Bus Stop

Background Details : If for some reason you are unwell some day and don't feel like walking, you could sit through the waiting time at the signal and choose to get of at the bus stop. So, after some 15 odd minutes, you are at the Silk Board bus stop.

Route 2 : Getting of at the bus stop

Getting off is the easy part. This road being very wide has a median dividing it.

This side of the road( on which the bus stop is situated) – just a little after the yellow coloured Silk Board icon on the map, has vehicles traveling towards BTM.

The other side of the road has vehicles going either straight to the Outer Ring Road; or taking the left to reach Madivala / Koramanagala.

It always has happened on all occasions when I have taken this route that I get to cross the road till the median very comfortably.

This is because of the signal which has all other vehicular movement to a halt. From this side of the road, I see all vehicles on the other side waiting patiently for their signal.

And just when I get to the median the waiting vehicles will start rolling and there will no moment of peace after that.

Just as the Silk Board Signal has waiting time of close to 15 minutes. These vehicles get a clearing time of some 20 minutes.

When I finally get to the other side, despite my not having walked much, I am exhausted after 15 minutes of sitting in the bus(@ signal). Add to it, standing on the median for another 20 minutes. Total waste of 35 minutes.

My Preference and Parallels

I prefer the Route 1 despite it being difficult because I know I am reaching my destination irrespective of the woeful road.

Route 2 is indefinite. My waiting time is indefinite. My temper is on its rise because all I am doing is waiting for the vehicles to stop; a situation thats not in my hands.

Life is similar. Its better to take the route where we we know we are in the right direction. We know we are getting there, even if it seems difficult at times, to continue walking to our destination.

Simply taking the easy route and waiting for things to fall in place, happens once in the rare event that we get fortunate. Its a once in a blue moon event. Enjoy it while it happens. But never expect it to happen every day without some hard work.

PS: I have removed the map. Will put a clear one with proper directions soooon :)

Mr.Krishnamurthi and the Bus Driver

2008-05-13T22:55:00.000-07:00

I was crossing the inner ring road at Domlur junction when I saw the "201" bus amble by me. And I was thinking,If only there had been a door on the right side of the bus, I could have at least given a shot at diving inside the bus :)

I was hurrying towards the bus stand when I saw that the same 201 was still standing and though I could see a large number of empty seats, somehow the passengers were getting in very slowly.Imagine my surprise when I saw men standing all over the foot board and unable to get in smoothly when the bus was nearly empty.

By now I was determined that I should get inside the bus. As I was nearing the bus, it rolled slowly. And I was like, man I am not going to miss this one. And I increased my pace of walking.

Then I saw the reason why people were unable to get in easily. There was only one door to this bus. And there was no conductor, so the bus driver was having to issue tickets, take the fare and return the change, while also ensuring that he was not blocking traffic. He stopped a young man without correct change, from entering the bus.

I was the last but one to get inside the bus. After me an old man entered. He looked like a construction worker as he was carrying some tools.

My fare was 7 rupees and I did not have notes. I had a fifty. I asked him if he had change. He was irritated with all the tasks he had to do. And he gruffly said no. As I did not want to be asked to leave like the young man, so I started rummaging through my purse for any change I might have miraculously saved, all the while standing near the steel bar near the driver.

I was lucky. I got a 5 rupee coin and a 2 rupee coin. With a flourish, I took them out and took the ticket from the driver. The old man behind me wanted the 25 rupees day pass. He requested the driver if he could write down his name on it. His name was Krishnamurthi, I heard him tell the driver so.

The driver, overworked as he was, refused very rudely. Mr Krishnamurthi then said that he could not write and again requested the driver to write his name on the pass. The driver got abusive and said he did not give a damn if he could write or not, and asked him to get it written by some other passenger.

Mr. Krishnamurthi then spoke back in anger and told the driver that he was rude. Saying so, he went inside looking for a seat. Last, I saw him getting his name written by a co passenger.

I sat in peace. But I felt sorry for the driver, who might never experience the magic of a thankful smile.

The Tiffin Set

2008-05-13T22:23:00.001-07:00

After I got off the "201" bus, I was walking towards my office when I saw a young man struggling with two really big tiffin cases. Now these are the traditional tiffin sets; with steel and circular containers (5-6 in number), being held on their sides. Something similar to the image above, but much much bigger.

These sets came upto my shoulder and I am 5 feet 2.5 inches. He had one of that variety in one hand and in the other he held a hand made basket containing some unwashed vessels. He had stopped and seemed to be taking some rest.

I could not imagine him carrying that weight any further and just then he called for an auto that was traveling empty. He spoke for a while but apparently the auto driver had refused. The young man looked desolate but proud. I asked him if he needed any help. He refused as I had expected him to.

He then lifted the tiffin sets and trudged on and I walked on, albeit a little slowly a little ahead of him. After all he would expect me to walk faster as I had no luggage on me. And I did not want him to think that I was watching him. After a few steps I heard a crashing sound. He had dropped the big set. I decided then that I would do something. I went up to him and told him firmly, I will hold one side while he could hold the handle on the other side.

He just looked at me, said nothing, But he did not object. And how could he? I had lifted the handle with my left hand and he had no option but to pick the other end ;)

While walking, he told me that it was the fourth auto that had refused to accommodate him. I asked him how much further the hotel was.He indicated a location that was somewhere behind my office. I said I would walk with him. Moreover it was not very heavy, now that the weight was distributed.We made good progress. Then I stopped some 15 meters before the hotel and told him I had to get to work.

He said he could manage from there on. I said “Take Care” and he said “Thanks”.

I sent a silent prayer to God that he be given an opportunity to get to a better position.

The Story of PI

2008-03-14T04:50:00.000-07:00

The PI is a fascinating mathematical constant approximately equal to 3.1459.... Its transcendental in itself meaning no finite sequence of algebraic operations on integers could ever produce it.

Why am I elaborating so much on the value of PI and its significance, something which 13-14 year olds would have had drilled into their heads by teachers practicing the "Rote" method of education system ? Well the story is as follows ( The following scene is taking place at my work place). There was a meeting regarding the launch of our gaming portal – Presino.

A little about Presino.... Cant help bragging about it as I am one of the members of the development team that put together Presino. Our portal aims to be the "Fantasy Gaming Platform" and is targeted currently at an audience comprising of sports enthusiasts. We also have in the pipeline, games on Bollywood, Literature, Quizzes etc etc for the rest of us. The plan is to cover all major sporting events, the entertainment itinerary and pretty much everything.

Lest all of you out there start thinking that this a free advertisement for Presino, let me pause and resume my story. Yeah, so were at the meeting and it was decided that Presino will be launched on March 14th. Discussions were on about further improvements and enhancements when talks steered towards the scoring system, ranking and the leader boards. With one thing leading to another, there rose a question as to what should the unit of scoring be called. We wanted something original, innovative yet not too serious.

Amidst ideas springing up everywhere like "Matrix Agents", the ones that made the cut were

a. COWRIES - These are shells belonging to a group of small to large sea snails. Most people find the very rounded, shiny, porcelain like shells of cowries very pleasing to look at and handle(explanation courtesy Wikipedia). Also cowries had been used as currency in several parts of the world in the past and present and had a significant purpose in ceremonies.]

This did not have many takers though and cowries got passed over :(

b. VIDS - This was suggested as an acronym for ((Virtual Dollars)). Though the expansion was catchy, it sounded very American and not many warmed up to it. I did not like it one bit. Thankfully it suffered a quick and painless death.

c. PRESINO POINTS - This was downright simple and was rejected instantly.

d. PIP - This was a hot favorite as it was shown to depict ((Presino Incentive Points)). "Google-The-Great" threw up Picture-In-Picture as the first link and Wikipedia coughed up the following meanings-
i>the smallest unit in forex trading by which a currency may change value,
ii>the seed of several fruits such as apples and oranges,
iii>a disease of birds characterized by a thick mucous discharge that forms a crust in the mouth and throat.

Now this last explanation was reason enough for its unceremonious yet painful departure from the list. Painful because it came millimeters close to being chosen. So Near and Yet so Far..... More Sighing

As more options kept getting rejected, PI made a surprise entry and suddenly people were silent. Now nobody remembers whose idea it was and so it is everybody's idea :). I believe all is well that ends well and so Pi came to be and we got an expansion for it - Presino Incentives .

And PI came to to be symbolic because of the following reasons. Firstly the day we had chosen to launch Presino was "March 14th" which we accidentally found out was the PI day. And also March 14th - being the third month and 14th day – equaled the approximate PI value. More reasons for cheer.... :)

The creation of the PI "icon" was a whole new story. We wanted to base it on the PI symbol and lend our creative touch to it. The idea was to make it more significant . So if you look closely, you will see a P and I in the two legs of the icon. Though it looks simple, it took long hours to get the final look.

We launched Presino and everyone's reaction on seeing the icon(in the beginning of the blog) was one word - CLEVER :)

March 14th will be a day I will remember for a long time.

Hyderabadi Biryani

2008-02-17T06:31:00.000-08:00

My brother Balaji got married on the 20th of January. So my entire family had been to Hyderabad for the wedding where Renu(my sis-in-law) is originally from.

We left on the 18th night and arrived there on 19th morning..... At the station, we were greeted by Renu's Chittappas(uncles). Transport had been arranged for us to reach the mantap. The address of the hall :

Jain Bhavan
3/5 141/2 - A Eden Bagh
Ram Kote
Hyderabad 1

On the drive, my first impression was that there were very few vehicles in comparison to Bangalore. This was to change on the last day of my visit :)

On arrival at the Kalyana Mantap we saw Ravi firstly :) (There you go Ravi.... Thats for having sent that loooooooong helpful mail ).

A little introduction about Ravi. He is one of Renu's best friends. He is essentially a warm person. He tries to make everyone feel good and special. An entertainer par excellence. Never a dull moment when he is around. I dont know if he ever feels the need to be on the other side and have somebody making him feel at ease. Hmmmm

So where was I before Ravi sidetracked me :)..... Yes, we had arrived at the Mantap. My sister and I had to be with the bride and groom for small ceremonies that we had to perform. So we kept some of the luggage in a room allotted for us and retired to a hotel nearby which was in essential a guest house courtesy daddy dearest.

We arrived dressed in splendor as everyone else. Paid respects to thatha and pati ( grandad and grandmom) . Mom and Dad had started introducing us to people who had seen us from the time we were toddlers, some whom I remembered and others I just could not place despite racking my brains real hard. After all the cursory hi's, hello's and how are you doing - we got together with all cousins as the entire clan was there and started loud conversations amidst all the existing noises.

In all the ordered cacophony I noticed "Jonathan Peter Day", the bridegrooms colleague and friend. He was so fair I was sure that he has been painted or he was a mannequin. Something made me want to know him better.He was looking a little clueless about all the activities but still snapping away to glory on his camera.

I asked Ravi to be introduced to him. We immediately got on like a house on fire and there was great rapport. It was initially strange but we started exchanging thoughts and ideas of our respective cultures and struck a chord there.

I explained to him the meaning and the importance of the extensive chantings that happen in our weddings. He observed that our weddings were noisy and there was happy chaos everywhere. I said that their weddings were very organized, there was also some rehearsal of it a day or two earlier and it was over in half a day.

It was 19th evening by now, and there was the baraat which included lot of dancing and music. This was new in our South Indian custom. But the bride's family were a fun filled lot and wanted laughter and fun, so baraat it was. I am shy when it comes to dancing, so I watched others dance from distance and was clapping and just shaking my shoulders.

My sister and I left the party midway to get dressed for the Reception later in the evening. Jon and Ravi looked dapped in their suits. Since morning we had also been introduced to Renu's side of cousins.Sakshi, Sunny, Srikant, Srinivas and lots others... Yes a lot of "S" names. Everyone was looking smart.

Balaji and Renu looked resplendent in their respective outfits. She in her sea blue saree and he in his suit. I was feeling sorry for them as I realized how much of smiling they had to do and be on their toes all the time. Also in the harsh lights and the photographer constantly asking for poses, its a wonder that they actually turn into grizzly bears :) A wedding is never a time that the bride and groom look back with great joy as they are so exhausted 24/7 and expected to still smile through.... Phew..

That night after the reception, we youngsters had an Antaskshari session till midnight. The bride and groom participated too despite knowing that the next day was the "D Day" and they had to be up early. I guess it was their way of being themselves without any pressure to act a certain way. The singing session was a fun riot all the way what with Tamil, Hindi and even English songs making a foray. And then it was goodmorning Sunday :)

20th - Sunday

Morning was chaos in the hotel. Each one wanted the other to get up first and finish bathing. Dad went in first and realised nobody was even contemplating putting a toe out of the cot. Dad lost his temper and switched off the AC. That had us squealing and scrambling to get into the bathroom. Mom who went for the bath next, came complaining that the water was freezing. Time was running out and so was patience. She managed to drip some water over her and called it a fine bathing experience. My sister went in next and I was meanwhile folding all the clothes and arranging them neatly. Also I kept out the morning outfits and the jewellery. I love arranging, folding and stacking up things neatly. Little bit of a Monica Gellar there but without the eccentricities.

As luck would have it, when I went in, the water was hot just the way I liked it. And I was busy doing a jig inside laughing at their pitiful bathing experiences, when dad said he was going to abandon me if I did not finish soon. Hufffff Parents .... especially when on outings become such tyrants. So the three women- me, my mom and my sister finally got ready and left in an auto to the Mantap. And imagine our plight, we were lost in a new place and there sits my mom like she was a temple deity complete with all gold ornaments and big bindi. Finally after what seemed like 4-5 circular movements on the same old roads we chanced upon the venue.

The traditional garland exchanging ceremony was going to begin.

This is where the bride and the groom are carried by their respective uncles. Woe betide anyone who crosses 60 kgs at maximum and the uncles will have problems ;). So after being lifted up in the air, the bride and the groom are supposed to fling the garland alternatively, please note alternatively and not at the same time else it will become a garland war :). These flung garlands are supposed to land on the others' neck. (Miracles especially when one is precariously sitting on one's shoulder and trying to balance oneself, there comes the additional pressure of having to basket the garland. And I have decided I am gonna start basket ball practice to be good at it later when my turn comes... if it happens the traditional way that is ;)

After this, the bride and the groom are made to sit on a jhoola( long swing) and the feeding session starts -- to make up for all their starved sorry states the previous day. There are some songs sung teasing the bride and the groom in a subtle manner. Each of the singing party competes with the other as to who is the loudest in this department :) . My uncles won it hands down.Then starts the mini function of all the elderly aunties feeding them banana and milk salad and then swinging some rice balls covered with kumkum(vermilion) and manjal(turmeric) and resembling laddoos(a sweet item that looks like mini yellow colored cannons) around them. This is supposedly meant to ward off the evil eye. After the swinging, comes throwing them wherever you can :) This was the fun part as each one took on the others in who would land it the farthest. Bret Lee would have been shamed today.

The wedding muhurtam(good time) finally arrived. I tied the second and third knot as is tradition(being Balaji's sister) around Renu's neck after Balaji had tied the first and Renu was family. There were tears of happiness and loads of congratulations. And lots of confetti in my mouth. I was spluttering a while looking like I had entered from snow land as my hair was covered in little white chunks of "God knew what".

Jon as he called himself was the center of attention of all people as we are a naturally curious community and he had to answer the same questions " How did you find the wedding" , "Are you enjoying" etc etc posed by different people and he answered all of them patiently. And he answered mine too patiently.

The day wore on with people going over to bless the newly married couple while the Vaadyars(the priests) were not letting them go. They were made to repeat one long chant after another amidst all the smoke from the homam( sacred fire or the havan). Watery eyes, kajal streaming down their eyes, it must have been pure agony for them.

On 2oth night

The wedding was over... We youngsters wanted to take a Hyderabad mini trip. After ensuring that luggages had been packed, we went out. And this is the Route Map (thanks to Ravi) in his words with a few modifications here and there :)

We started off in Ramkote and drove directly to NTR Marg via the Telugu Talli flyover from where one could see the Birla Temple all lit up at night...Then we were on NTR Marg which is like the breathing space of the city with Lumbini Gardens and NTR Gardens taking up most of the road. At the end of this road, there is Prasadz IMax which houses the only IMAX #-D theatre this side of the Vindhyas.

We also took a drive on the Necklace Road and caught a glimpse of the ultra popular Eat Street. Then we were back on to the main road....The most notable road between here and HiTech City being the Track....this is an 8 track road, a huge well lit, well maintained road in Jubilee Hills. This is called The Track because of the break neck speeds that people go in on this road. Then we entered HiTech City, saw the campuses of all the multi national giants and stopped near SF(Something Fishy) Durgam Cheruvu (also called Secret Lake).

This was the lake whose name I tried recollecting and made a sorry figure in front of my TL who incidentally is from Hyderabad and there I was stuttering out some unintelligible words that I told him with absolute conviction was Telugu ... Hrmph... and he sat laughing at my inability to remember names as usual.

Ok back about the long drive.......
We sat there for a while and then we had Irani Chai and Osmania Biskut in one of the cafes just before hitting the track again. The Chai I loved, the biscut as Ravi calls it turned all gooey gooey in my mouth and became a paste which I did not enjoy much. Then I was told a small history about the Chai.... That despite it being priced at around Rs.5 a cup, people buy one cup and share it amongst two. Strange history. Then we drove back towards Lakdi ka pul where our hotel was and where my sister was in no mood to finish the trip, so we ended up going towards Mehdipatnam and then the Cavalry Road and then onto Gandipet Lake.

At Gandipet, some of us decided to revive the the Stone Age by climbing the rocks. There was the warning one of us spotted before I could think of putting my little toe in the water "This place has crocodiles" and my bravery was questioned ;)

It was a clear night, with the moon shining brightly. It was calm all around and the lake looked so sanguine. The weather clement, I just removed myself from my immediate surroundings and felt transported to aplace with only the lake . And suddenly I was alone, but unafraid. The vast skies were filled with many stars, some twinkling, some just shining brightly and others shining amidst the shadow of other stars. The moon looked serene and I suddenly felt cold. I came out of the reverie and noticed everyone around me.

It was here that Jonathan asked me, why is it that in India people make mess and expect others to clean up after them. Is it because they think its below their dignity to pick it up? I did not have an answer... All I said was ,If someone thinks they can get away with wrongdoing and don't have a conscience to be harried about, they would do it without any misgivings.

There was lots of silence after that......... And it was time to go home. When my sister and I got dropped back to the hotel, nobody wanted to leave. I met some special people that day and its a bond I hope remains for life. We all exchanged numbers and hugged each other goodnight at 3 am Monday :) :) and went up the hotel to wake my parents and dive into the cot head first.

Alright the title has definitely been misleading :) and if any of you are still looking out for any mention of that Biryani ...... hee hee hee hee I am sorry to disappoint you. I could not think of a better title for my Hyderabad trip so the title came to be hee hee hee.

A night I shall not forget for a long time...............

Happy Onam

2007-08-27T09:18:00.001-07:00

Its Onam and these are some of the decorations done at home

Happy Onam all of you........

..... Siphoning my thoughts

2007-08-26T01:32:00.000-07:00

These are the events as on 31st July 2007 Events

At Home

I got up at 7 am. I could hear my mom moaning very slightly. She has been tolerating a muscle pull in her lower back and she is whimpering. I am trying my best to rouse myself. I get off the cot at 7.15 am.

Parents...…..After a certain age they are worse than little kids. Gosh, I never thought I would ever feel like whacking my mom, but now I really want to do it. She has been suffering in pain and refusing every offer of being taken to the doctor. Her constant refrain “What will you all eat? … Who will cook? ... Who will dust? … “. I lost my cool. My temper that had been simmering for 2 days got the better of me and all hell broke loose.

I literally attacked my mom with all rebuttals I could think of and my mouth kept spewing the “well prepared answers” to her retorts. I told her that a bunch of 20 (odd) yr olds and one daddy could survive a day without her.

I finally convinced her, though I felt drained completely at the effort and left to work.

At Work

It’s Tuesday and one can’t excuse oneself from work complaining about Monday blues and dawdle along. The launch date has been announced. It’s the 6^th of August. Flurry of activity and lots of To Do List’s to be completed. The list suddenly seems to be covering the whole sheet. I wonder where all these things magically appeared.

I mean all the while we keep coding, we do a test review after one module is complete. Still new errors keep appearing often so amidst a very terse atmosphere, the day proceeded. Even taking a break is prone to guilt pangs that I am wasting time when I could have done a little more polishing.

The day goes on………. It’s my birthday on 3^rd and I know it’s going to be spent at work. I mean, a birthday is just another day; however I still wished and hoped it could have been a normal day at least.

Leaving Back Home at 8.10 pm

The long Tuesday has come to an end. I left back home. They have dug up all the roads near my office. So I make my way to the main road exercising extreme caution lest I sink my feet into loose earth or slip in one of the many holes dug up in the name of repairs. As I jump across a ditch to get to the other side, which is the main road, I notice 2 men looking in my direction.

I did not give it much thought as my mind was preoccupied with getting a bus soon. I started walking towards the bus stand and suddenly I felt my instincts warning me. Now, I believe firmly that if every one of us hears to that tiny voice in the back of our heads saying/warning/communicating anything, we will avoid a lot of unpleasant experiences. My gut instincts have always been right. And I have learned to listen to it.

Like the time, when one of my colleague immediately after dropping me home, never responded to my calls. And I felt something wrong. Nobody at work believed me when I said something as wrong. They all said he must have slept off. I refused to believe that excuse and had asked my mom to keep trying till she got him. His phone was switched off. We found out he had taken a mini van, rather than continue in the auto after dropping me home. The occupants of the mini van assaulted him and stole his cards, phone and all money he was carrying on his person and left him in the middle of the night on a deserted street. So I always listen to that tiny savior of a voice.

So I looked sideways and sure enough I saw the men walking at a pace slower than mine parallel to me, darting glances constantly at me. The first time in my life that I can recall, I was afraid. I felt fear so unpleasant, my throat started constricting and I was clutching my bag tightly.

I have had an experience before but it was different. I had been walking on a street and some 4 men crossed the road to my side and one of them did a movement with his hand as if ducking. I was outraged and I screamed back at them as to what they thought of themselves. Since I think in English, my question came out in English and I continued glaring at them. I felt no fear, and as expected they moved away from me in a fast pace. I mean they would have been beaten up by the passers by if I had raised alarm. That day too, my heart was beating, but there was a surge of adrenaline. I picked up my bottle of “pepper Spray” the next day to be on the safe side.

But today, I was quite alone and despite it being the main road, there wasn’t much vehicular movement. The men must have felt that fear because they started moving a little closer to me and I saw that they could not have been more than 30. Firstly, I decided to appear less scared despite having my heart beat so painfully against my ribs I thought it would crack. I was nearing the bus stand, and I turned back to see if any buses were coming. I did not want to wait for the bus. I saw a few men standing in the bus stand but no women. The men did not look very friendly nor approachable. I know I am not supposed to judge anybody based on their appearances, but in the state of my nervousness, I was just looking for one kind face. I noticed that the men seemed to have realized that I was afraid and were smirking. I was praying that I get a bus and I did. Another man had crossed over to the bus stand and joined the two men. He was saying something to the effect of not to scare people …. Some bus arrived and I nearly ran into it not bothering where it would go as long as it took me away from that place. I had a fleeting glance at the men who had assembled. They were still staring at me.

The bus conductor was asking me where I wanted to alight. I could not speak for 2 minutes. Trust me, 2 minutes IS a long time. Then I finally asked if it would go to Airport Road. Lucky for me, it was a direct bus. I paid the conductor my change and slowly relaxed. My palms were red with all the force my nails has applied on it. My breathing got back to normal.

I was sitting and analyzing later why it happened. Why was I not in control of the situation as before?. I realized that the men (by not doing anything), but just intimidating me had violated my space. I am better armed now and I have emergency numbers of cops and squads. I will learn Martial arts too.

However I am disappointed. It will be August 15^th in a fortnight and things still feel the same in the actual sense.

I believe true freedom will come when any individual (especially a woman) can walk on the roads without having any fear.

Late....

2007-07-29T07:02:00.000-07:00

Few days back.......I cross the road to get to the bus stand on the other side. Not before a car has almost crushed me to death and a two wheeler knocks the wind out of me. I miss the bus by a minute. And this is normal. On days I come early, the bus would also be earlier by a minute. The next bus comes after half an hour. Trying to look for an auto is also pointless as they are always occupied. I wonder "Are there so many people in Bangalore?".

The bus I get into is leaning to its left because of the weight of the people in it. I climb in and find myself lost. My purse, slung across my shoulders is moving to the right. My dupatta moving left seems to strangle me as people are constantly pushing it and my neck entwined in it, twists into weird angles. I can’t even curse under my breath as the very existence of it is being squeezed out of me.

Its 9.30 am. The bus has not moved an inch and I am still stuck in traffic. The bus is so jam packed with people that I can sense that the lady squashed against me is a regular pan eater. The smell is very strong. Her hair smells of coconut oil mixed with sweat. Poor lady, she is also in the same mess as me.

I am feeling claustrophobic. I look through the windshield outside. I see more than 40 yellow colored hoods & a generous sprinkling of cars. Mostly white - I think these are the call center cabs. And trying to get ahead amidst this pile of automobiles are the two wheelers. These add color to the otherwise prevalent white and yellow.

I notice a man sitting pillion on a Splendor bike. He is knotting his "red with blue diamonds" tie with unwavering concentration. It amazes me that something so normal could seem so out of place in all the mayhem. He finishes knotting it. It’s a well done "double knot". Neat.

Meanwhile the crowd in the bus is dispersing. I am looking to find a seat. That’s wishful thinking. Then I do the second best thing I know. Look through my trained eyes to spot people who might be alighting soon.

It’s simple actually. It’s all about keen observation. People who are leaning forward in their seats are the first lot of possible candidates. They are either peering to see if it’s their stop or know for sure that its time to move. In the former case one might have to wait an additional stop to get that seat. In the latter one has to be quick to slide in :). The second lot of candidates will start adjusting the bag straps and put their phones inside (this is not a definite sign as people are so busy they continue talking while alighting). Others might put their books inside.

There is a woman shuffling her feet and leaning forward in her seat. My seat looks promising. Aah……….. I bagged one :).

On my way to the so called Domlur Bus Stop

2007-04-23T09:49:00.000-07:00

There was a proper bus stop near "Chef Residency" . This was until the flyover came up . There has been mayhem ever since then for me.

Firstly the bus stop is mobile between "Chef Residency" and the "Home Store". I am calling it mobile because there is no one place the bus stops. And it definitely does not stop where I am standing. I hate it. I detest it. I abhor it......... And I cant help it.....

To cross that road to get to the other side is so maddening.......... You might see me sometimes trying to make a dash zig zagging between all the vehicles who dont stop when I show my index finger and beseech them for one tiny little minute so I can move. But No. Everyone is in a hurry. Most of the times, I wait 20 minutes just to cross that blessed road.

On one of those rare occasions, the policeman would be standing. Once he steps in, we pedestrians sigh ......... With the raise of his hand, traffic comes to a stand still. And those times I feel like GOD.

Yesterday, I was walking towards my mobile BUS STAND, betting with myself as to where the bus would stop and whether I would be able to make it . This is important because I do not run after a bus. I never have and I dont intend to start doing it too.

Reason 1 : I hate looking desperate for the "KSRTC"bus
Reason 2: I wear high heels and do not wanna trip and make a fool of myself

Aah.......... I like to dress neat to work. I sometimes wear skirts(knee length) and wait for the bus. Often auto's come and stop near me. I shake my head with a smile and they smile back and drive away.

Why cant a person who dresses neat(read never vulgar coz showing legs can be classy when u carry yourself well), travel by bus. I dont understand this importance to clothes and judging people. My friends say "You dont look like the sorts who has to travel by bus". Look at the irony. It is my means of transport. I see nothing wrong in taking the bus. Petrol is still an expensive means if I take my car to work. So I am on my saving mode :)............. Hail KSRTC (Except on all those occasions when its so crowded , I can feel the perspiration of the next person .........

So as I was saying, I was walking towards the bus stop............. I looked to my right. A man and a woman were talking. Nothing strange about it except that he suddenly caught her neck. And he pushed her away. I was appalled. I am not talking about a man and a woman and the strength factor though I strongly feel about it.

What gives an individual any right to physically invade the space of another individual. I am ashamed of myself because I did not do anything. I saw it, observed it, felt bad for her and walked on worried when my bus would arrive, where it would stop, how long will it take for me to cross the road. I wanted to go sock him for treating an individual without respect. But who am I ? Saying so, Convincing myself I had no right to interfere....................I walked on.

The ride back home

2007-04-02T21:40:00.000-07:00

This happened on 31^st March………. I had been sick the first half of the week…down with viral. And all the TV channels must have known it because they conspired to ensure that all movies telecasted sucked....... well most of them sucked [:(]…………. So TV watching was out.

When you are sick, this wretched tongue seems to want Italian delicacies , Spicy soups and what not ……… and the stomach is just waiting to churn them so bad you feel like there is milk curdling inside …….

Well after a self imposed exile, I went to “The Forum” on Saturday and had a Burger at Mc Donald’s (I prefer KFC) with 2 of my colleagues and I bumped into my sister and a family friend there.

My colleagues bid adieu as it was nearing 9. My sister and I were calculating how much it would cost to take an auto back home as our friend had come by bike. We wanted to have dinner, so my sis and I decided to walk till the restaurant and he said he would meet us there.

To get a table in the smallest of eat outs is difficult was proved that day. We were waiting for what seemed like eternity………. Waiting sucks especially when your tummy keeps reminding you how it’s being neglected.

Without realizing what I was saying, I said lets skip the food here. Lets go to Pizza Hut on Ring Road (very near Domlur- my place) - all three of us on bike and laughed at the absurdity of the whole idea ..ha ha ha

When I realized my words were actually making an effect on my friend and sis, it was too late to take them back . My friend and sis were already planning who will sit where and which were the safe roads to take to avoid being caught.

I hate breaking traffic rules and I was firmly against it. Also one guy and 2 girls, well everyone would laugh and it was not safe. The counter argument to that was: When a family can go as 4 why not we 3?

Ha Ha Ha ….I was tensed initially and thinking what was I doing this mad thing for? I was breaking free (voluntarily) which is so not me………. I am more composed a person. I get mad very rarely and this seemed to be one of those mad moments.

I sat last, my sister in between and we went. The Enticer/Enfield.They both look the same. something like it bike had plenty of space. The wind on my face, with lots of my sister’s mane in my mouth and people staring……..God, It was strange but risky fun. I would never do it again for the fact that it’s not right. I m very happy no untoward incident occurred too.

But it left me with a goofy smile on my face and my mom was smiling when we retold the day’s event……….

On a secret note, I might do it again.... Why remove the possibility of it happening and not bask in that sunshine of happiness till then ? [:)]

Sports Day

2007-01-27T19:12:00.000-08:00

Here goes the Sports Day event I had mentioned in the "Bus Drivers" blog. This event occurred 1.5 years back when I was in my first year of my Masters.

Post Graduation was very serious unlike under-grads where there was loads of fun and loads of studying too. College will be another blog...I seem to be going back in years in every blog :)

Ok coming back to the Sports Day.......... It was a very bright and sunny morning. I got up very early at around 5.30 and was ready by 6.30. My classmate came home to pick me up. We were going by car to the venue where the events were to be held.

We had packed water, glucose, a change of socks and towels........

I had worn red track suit and cute socks, the ones which come till my ankles and New Balance Shoes (quite fashionable an entry I made)

U might have guessed by now, I had not planned on taking part. I was going there to cheer my other classmates. Most of my classmates had come and the ground was looking colourful. The track was empty and people were in various forms of excercises, some jogging, some sizing up the ground, others running.

There was this 40(i m guessing)year old guy ,looking in the prime of his health ,running tirelessly. I was starting to feel ashamed that I could not muster up as much energy as he did. I ran on the tracks for a while competing with my classmate "A". He beat me easily saying i rolled rather than run on the track.I stopped running. However the sight of the 40 yr old man continued to move around in my head. Constantly reminding me of what I could do and yet did not.

I am not an anti-sports person. I had run my fair share of school races , was an active high-school "Throwball" player. Somewhere along the line, the idea that "I look clumsy while running" combined with my need to win always took precedence and I had not been in any of the races ever since then ie after my 10th STD.

There were nice stalls with water containers and loads of glucose.The inauguration started 8 am on dot. A large crowd had gathered to watch activities.

Not many of my friends were participating and I felt good .............Well, I had company didnt I? However that niggling thought of that man kept creeping back and reminding me what a loser I was. It didnt care I had company.

Now I have a problem. When there is something I need to recover from my databank(head) or find answers- my mind goes full steam till I solve the issue. And this thought just did not go away as I had not even Plan B for it to stop chewing my brains.

There were the usual 100 m, 200 m and 400 m for the guys. 100m and 200 m for the girls. Relay. Long Jump and High Jump. Javelin throw for the men. Women were given a heavy ball.

The mens 100 m event started first. It was a tough finish. Two people were extremely fast. My classmate "A" whom I had come with in the car, and another junior. The junior came in first. The arenalin that surged inside me as I watched the race cant be explained. All the races I had run in the past came in front of my eyes and that thought just kept getting stronger and stronger. It had started speaking to me. Now my thought better have a name as it plays a vital part.Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I will call it "Sparky"

Next it was the 100 m Womens event and Sparky was goading me now. What a pest. I did not take part. A girl in my class came in third. The top 2 positions were taken by juniors, the twin athlete sisters. They were brilliant.

Next was the 200 m Mens and 200 m Womens. I continued ignoring Sparky who was getting on to my nerves now. Heck I could not even enjoy being the spectator. The long Jump for Men was a great event to watch. People pitting against one another and themselves. Thats what I admire and always strive for- to better myself and pushing myself. I was understanding that sports and life was not much different.

It was an enjoyable event. "A" won the first place and the junior who beat him in 100m won the second place. There was a small break. And i was catching up with my friends, getting them water and glucose.

The womens event for Long Jump came and went with more men than I had seen in the college in totality also :) :)

The womens event of throwing the ball came. Sparky was head on and I said what the heck let me try it. I was practicing before the event to see how far I could throw it. Many an attempt later and I could throw relatively well. People all along warned me against attempting this as I m a small person. But what no one knows I m very strong mentally and that makes up for my small frame. I have helped a friend shift residence moving beds, showcases and cupboards(some filled with clothes) from downstairs to upstairs using narrow stairs as other friends watched in awe. My mind can do things my body never dreamed of.

The warnings just served to fuel me. I work better when the odds are against me. And I took part in that event. I didnt win, but I felt good. I had taken part in an event, enjoyed lifting my aching arms and throwing the ball, not winning and having a smile on my face :) I was feeling calm.

The last events of the day was the 400 m relay. The twin sisters and my classmate who won third in 100 m were on the lookout for a fourth one. Everyone wanted to be on that team as it was a sure shot to the 1st prize. I looked at them as they waved aside many a "probable good runner" wanting only the best to be a part of their team. They finally teamed up with another good runner and assembled their relay team.Two other good teams also got assembled.

3 (not so bad) runners were on the lookout for a fourth person to join them and there was no one. I have run 100 m in school and I was thinking if I should join. Sparky was quiet. Probably letting me take the blame on myself if I agreed and did not win , so he could come out and keep reminding me of a bad choice i had made. Thats what i thought of Sparky. He was dead silent.

They were looking disappointed as the Relay requires 4 members. I offered. They were delighted. I was wondering If I am giving them false hopes. They said they just wanted to run because they enjoyed running. They beleived that they would not win and that pissed me off. I told them, we might not win, we might win. But we should never be negative about it. They were listening eagerly. I was wondering if I could push them a little bit to believe in themselves.

I was excited. My heart was beating. I asked them how good they were and they said they could run fast, but could not beat the twins for sure. I told them to stop thinking of the twins. I said I would take the last position as I am a fast runner. I could not beleive I said that. I had won 100 m races in my schools. I wondered if my legs would be that fast now. I have an athletic frame but 5 years of not much excercise ????????? Was I being over confident ?

One of the girls said she would take the first position. Now in the Relay race, if the first and the last person are fast, they can make up for lost time and stand a chance. Here we were 4 teams. There were going to be 2 prizes. We could attempt.

The team was charged up. I told them two things. Hold the baton firmly and pass it on carefully . And run like u have nothing to lose.

The relay began. My classmate "A" wished me all the best. He siad u guys can take them on. I said I was running for myself, not to beat anyone , but just to let go of my stupid notions and ideas.

The Relay event started. We took our positions. I sent a prayer to GOD. I just said let me give it my best. Sparky that pest was nowhere to be heard. The whistle went. The race was on. The first girl of my team was very fast........... I have goosebumps writing this......... She passed the baton like a dream to the second girl. She ran pretty ok. And the third girl took the baton from her. I was waiting last. The moment i got the baton in my hand, I ran like a I never have. I felt I was one with wind. I dont mean I was fast coz I didnt know how fast I was. Just that feeling the wind on my face in that speed was wonderful. I didnt mind whether I looked clumsy or whether I was going to win. Running was exhilarating. And I crossed the finish line. Everyone around was clapping and cheering. I didnt know why. The team came and hugged me. We had come second. The twins team was first by 3 seconds.

I was stunned. We looked at one another with astonishment. II nd was unexpected. We didnt speak but the eyes conveyed a lot. I just had made them believe in themselves and whats more................ We had come winners with the odds stacked against us.........

It was this Sports Day when my classmate "A" hurt his foot and could not drive back without wincing in pain........... which sparked my "Car Driving"

Sparky was contented................ So he remained silent for the rest of the day.....I was feeling light-headed, as if all the tensions within me had broken down. It was a lovely ending to a lovely day.

Sparky comes up once a while with different thoughts and I always make it a point to give him a hearing....................

Bus Drivers

2006-12-22T00:05:00.000-08:00

Travelling by bus is an experience by itself.... The other day I was on my way to work and I got into the 201 - (which all Bangaloreans know almost goes everywhere ;)). This was a driver I recognised .

I am very good at faces. I can identify a face that has changed over the years . Now this driver I remembered was the religious sort. He used to stop at the Madivala market and pick up flowers for the idols he had in the bus. He also liked to talk to the elder generation.

I got place behind his seat. There is a tiny shutter open on top. This is a lovely place to stand under, enjoying the cool breeze as it wafts in. So there I was, enjoying the occasional wave of cool air on my warm skin , standing there look at people hustling to work, college students with their tiny bags slung across their shoulder, holding big books in their hand :D, school children struggling to carry their (big and ready to split at the seams) duffels , working women with umbrellas etc..

Something was different today in the bus. Everyone was standing in some organised fashion. There was no elbowing, no people hanging half in half out........... That was strange. I was pondering about it, when a lady wanted to alight in a place where there was no stop. Now these requests are normal. Usually bus drivers accomadate these requests. What happened here though was different.

He told the lady that he would not be stopping in a place that does not have a stop. When she was standing very near to the footboard, he admonished her about her hurry to get off, without worrying about saftety factors.

He refused to let a passenger alight while at a traffic signal. Then he started his trademark conversation with an elderly woman. He said that people these days were scurrying around, hurrying to get somewhere and being careless in the process.

He said he did not want to earn a good name from passengers by yielding to their requests if the price he paid in return was their safety. I was amazed. I mean it does not take long to just halt the bus . But this driver worried that his passengers should not fall to the other vehicles travelling in crazy speeds.

He might never come across as people person, but a caring heart he has

My Driving Lessons

2006-09-30T02:10:00.000-07:00

3 months back...............

Yippppppppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...................... Hurrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy................
:) :) :) :) :) :):) :) :) :) :) :):) :) :) :) :) :):) :) :) :) :) :):) :) :) :) :) :):) :) :) :) :) :):) :) :) :) :) :):) :) :) :) :) :)

I was all smiles. I had fought my first major case and won it :p. I finally was going to start car driving lessons. Phew, as much an exhilarating feeling it was, I knew the real daunting task was ahead.

Learning to ride/drive a vehicle had been on my wish lists for a really long time. The other being swimming. At home,I had always had to wait for dad to come to take us around or rely on the public transport. It used to be in the back of my mind that I should start learning as soon as I have a car at my disposal. I mean, what use was car driving if I didnt have my car to ram :p? So I used to keep waiting when my parents will join me in Bangalore or when I would have a car to drive. It took 5 long years.

What accelerated this desire and gave strength to shatter all my mothers' arguments was an incident in college. We had this Sports Day.(This was in Post graduation and the Sports day will be another entry)........... I had travelled to the venue in one of my friends' car. He was taking part in 1) The 100 m 2) The Relay 3) The Long Jump

He hurt his foot while finishing the 100m run and sprained it real bad. He was in pain and I knew he would not be able to drive. But we had no choice. He was the only one who could drive amongst us. I felt miserable the whole time he drove. He used to wince in pain, every time he had to apply the brakes. I never had felt so helpless.

That steeled my resolve to learn driving no matter what. And I went ahead and enrolled in the driving school.

I had to take up the Learners Test without which I could not start the lessons. Can u believe it- I flunked the test . I mean which dunce would fail an LL??? And that too after understanding what would be asked? But trust me, the questions were tricky. There was one- "If the driver drives in a way that accidents dont happen- Is he a) a safe driver
b) a professional driver
c) a safe and professional driver ?

I mean why ask these kinds of questions when they are irrelevant. I was so pissed and irritated with myself. To top it, my mom started associating it to bad luck which would stop only after my marriage......... Phew.............. What logic it held, I fail to comprehend.

Well, I cleared my LL next time and there started my "having to rise upto expectations".......... My friends said that "According to statistics, women were worst drivers".......... Yeah fat lot that information did to my confidence. I used to expect perfection in my learning lessons and come disappointed as some auto guy or car guy would have screamed some unintelligible words.

Then I said to myself, I was just proving what the statistics showed. I thought I wont expect to have a completely correct learning session, rather learn how I could better myself and correct my flaws. I started driving better. I drove my car all the way from work back home in peak traffic and late evening.

The strength of positive attitude :)

Travelling By Bus in Banglaore

2006-09-28T02:22:00.000-07:00

I travel by bus to work........... I have to catch 2 buses from Airport road to reach Banashankari. Travelling by bus does have its mini adventures as I found out........ :)

Some months back, I had to get back from Christ College, Bangalore. I took a bus that took the long route. I am always in a hurry and do not like to idle away time. That Sunday I was tired of hurrying up and since I had nothing urgent to take care of, I took a bus that travelled the longer route. What a treat I had in store :)

At Marathahally, a father and son boarded the bus. They were Bengalis and wanted to get to the market area. The son(whom I shall call A) looked around for a seat so his old father(whom i shall call as B) could sit there. A then asked the driver as to where the market area was and how long will it take for him to reach there.

The bus drivers are generally cordial and take it upon themselves to give directions. I dont know what happened that day. The driver just got furious. He said in English "Speak in Kannada, otherwise I will not answer". A calmly said "I do not know Kannada, please tell me when will I reach the Market Area?" This infuriated the driver and he stopped the bus.

I was sitting in the seat behind the driver watching this and thinking what led to this confrontation? The driver then started verbally abusing A. Meanwhile B, stood up and tried pacifying A and asked him to back off. A asked him to take his seat and tried pacifying the driver to no avail. Then A also started abusing and it became a free for all.

The driver ask them to leave the bus and they refused. There was a mini scuffle. But A refused to budge. He said " I am taking down your bus number, and I shall report this in the police station!". To this the driver replied in Kannada saying "Do what u can, i ll see what happens........... blah blah blah ............... Then A and B alighted at the next stop at a traffic junction. The driver all the while was mouthing obsceniteis. He was also cursing saying " Everyone comes to our state to earn money. There are hardly any Kannadigas in Bangalore. Wherever u look, all u see are these North Indians or Tamilians or Malayalis............ What has become of our state??? "

He looked back. Saw me and a girl sitting together. He screamed " Kannadadavala?"- meaning are u from Karnataka? I replied back in Kannada that I was (I am a Tamilian, but can speak Kannada)... what else could I do? I didnt want another brawl on a hot Sunday noon and meekly sat back.

This incident brought back memories when my dad had been posted to Delhi. Nothing new since transfers were a part of my life , dad working in the bank. We were called "Madrasis" because of our comparitively darker complexion which used to irk me .

What happened to A and B was no different.Just another form of racism and manifestation of pent up frustration .

MG Road.........The other side

2006-09-26T02:37:00.000-07:00

A hiatus and I am back........................ :)
What made me write this post??????????? Its what i witnessed one night after a wedding while returning home........

Weddings and the receptions............. It might be real fun for the parties involved(herein the Bride and the Groom)..................To unmarried people it sure is the best way to get grooms ;) .

Well thats another story :). We were travelling back after the reception(ON MG Road) in 2 cars. One driven by my dad and the other by my driver, since my uncles were not in town.

At the traffic signal, there was a "NO RIGHT" turn and dad went straight to take the next U turn. What did my driver do? He said to himself and the people in the car, I dont see a policeman, why waste time taking the next right?????

And lo behold, there stands the mustache twirling and hefty looking cop just waiting for these rule breakers. He swooped on our driver. Where were we all this time????? Chugging behind and cursing the Bangalore traffic............ ok.The cursing part was done by me and my sister, because my dad is ........... What can i say about him???? Well i ll write a blog entry about him separately. He is an enigma to me sometimes. The way he does not react at all in certain situations and thinks instead................. Fathers dont come in better packages :)

Oh my God where was I? Alright lets get back to track. As i was saying, we were behind chugging and finally the much awaited green light :) All smiles we scurried ahead...........

Here is the story i wanted to tell u all............... We saw a lady standing in bright red saree and i just mumbled to my dad saying "Its surprising why mami is standing" and i gave another look........... It was indeed my aunt and their car was standing there happily having another look at MG Road. On knowing this, dad immediately stopped our car and told us to stay in, locking ourselves. He went to talk to the cop who was busy trying to make money...Now dont get me wrong. He obviously had to fine my driver since there was rule flouting. But then, he should stick to the fine amount and not bargain like it was some vegetable stall. Well, dad went, said one word in Kannada..........(He is not very fluent and has a strange way of speaking Kannada wrt Tamil translations :)).................................. He said "KSHAMISI" and the cop was all smiles. Then he tells my father, " All these women in the car are wearing so much jewellery and yet they say they dont have any money.... How is that possible??? "...................

My dad, without blinking an eye, immediately responded " Sir these are all fake jewellery meant only to impress people sir, not gold".......... He and the policeman shared a hearty laughter and our driver got a slight reprimanding from dad for breaking the rule knowingly.

Meanwhile my sis and I were looking behind from our cars, seeing left, right actually everywhere :)............ We saw lots of women hevaily decked up. Some walking up and down a small stretch, some just standing listlessly and others talking amongst themselves. They looked old and worn out.They didnt look like they were attending any marriage, but like they were going to some costume party. The make up was garish. the clothes not very clean, and they were wearing the saree in a very revealing manner showing more flesh than usual. Thats when it struck that these women probably were prostitutes, waiting for clients. What happened next just confirmed it. A white car stopped near the women. A man got off, exchanged a few words. A few nods later, one woman got into the car and the other looked for another car that would stop by.

With the cops nearby, the business went on as usual, meaning the cops were being paid heavily to stay from these night activities unless they wanted to be a participant.

I dont know what i felt.... I didnt feel anything........... Just a question in my mind.................. What made them take this decision? I saw a young very beautiful girl(around 20) wearing this sphagetti strap outfit and also getting into the car(always white..dont know why).......... She looked well off from her choice of clothes and the way she carried them.......... Was it boredom or just the thrill or need for extra money......... I ll never know........All I saw was, young or old, at the end of the day,they chose prostitution...................

The week

2005-05-04T03:33:00.000-07:00

Well my exams got over and after two days my upstairs relatives left to

Ooty. So I had the house all silent for the whole week.... me my
granny.

However this posed a problem for my perfectionist grandmother. Before i
continue..... A short insight on my granny

My granny gets up at 5 in the morning. Boils milk cooks for the entire
clan that includes her daughter, me, my uncle, aunt, and their school going kid.
Then she proceeds to cook for the morning and noon session also. Then
she makes coffee once the entire family is up which is at 7.30...
Meanwhile she does not rest a bit, keeps folding clothes and doing all
small things.

Come afternoon she dries up the clothes of the entire household and
folds them too. This is in short about my grandmother whom I adore for
her never saying die spirit.

The downside of all this is "She gets to do almost all the work at
home".
Well i plan to take her away from all this in a year, when i get my
employment.

So in the time that my relatives were on vacation, there posed a
problem. The washing of clothes in the washing machine. Now my aunty
thinks no end of herself and assumes nobody is even half as good as
her (and yet she makes my gran do all the work).... So she asked my gran
to take the clothes downstairs and wash it and again carry them
upstairs... that woman needs spanking i swear it....

I entered the scene and laughed at this horrendous idea and told I’ll
take care of it and use their electricity only...the look on her face
was preposterous ha ha ha ha.....

My granny has always been wary of modern gadgets. She likes to learn
about them but finds it a little overwhelming...
So once they left i took over the clothing section when my
perfectionist granny wanted to learn how to do it... So i taught her on
one condition... "That she pretends not to handle that gizmo when that
lazy woman was around" and she agreed happily like a kid who had been
given a balloon.....

She must be washing away to glory now, that amazing woman who wishes
good only for everyone.... She also has her bad side... she does not
know that it is ok to come late and is quite safe... but that’s a very small part of it... I love her however she is

Studies???????

2005-03-25T23:59:00.000-08:00

I was reading newspaper which had this article about exams and its tensions. It really angered me so much about the way our eductaion system works.How can it judge that one student is good and the other is not?

The educations system is so detrimental that parents start pressurizing their children to keep doing better, pushing themselves till they create zombies outta them.

Does this mean that a child who is probably interested in creative arts, or geography, or history is no good? Why is it that the teachers dont look beyond these marks which at best bring out the mugging capacity of children?

No wonder so many suicides amongst teenagers and school goers.... When there is so much pressure to achieve..the extent to which parents go is so bloody infuriating....
They cut of the tv access, no talking to friends....STUDYING STUDYING AND MORE STUDYING......

The number of parents who are getting councelled because of their childrens' exams are on the rise too.... A mother hanged herself as her son did not get the required percentage.... So many teenagers develop haedaches, forgetfulness before exams..... This tension gets added on especially if there is another achiever in the family. Such is the case in mine too.

There is a cousin who has proved her worth and in the same age group comes my sister and another cousin.... I see the grilling session they are in for every time there are exams around the corner.... I dont understand why compare when each person is unique... Why are studies the bar of success.....

This argument can go on and on...until our education system does not improve there' s no hope for probable future painters, historians etc... as they will be stuck in the so called rote system

Hello LIFE

2005-03-18T00:05:00.000-08:00

The last week was eventful.... I realised that i needed to put back the zing in my life.... realised that happiness cant be attained from outside but from within... I let go of my inhibitions and thought about just being happy and being free

It was one rejuvenating experience.....everything seemed beautiful and nice. I realised what i had lost all these days brooding unnecessarily....

I let my closest friend have some space on his own...and its truefamiliarity breeds contempt and i experienced it...was painful to let go but my heart felt amazingly light...

I also met my sweetest friend Prabhash whom i call as baby bear who had a near death accident when we studying our final year of graduation. Its a wonder he is alive. I like him a lot for the simple fact he does not pretend to me unike others. I met him one morning... actually very early as i had no other time during the day... From 7 to 8 i spoke to him. The positive outlook i had since four days was visible immediately to him and he was happy for me too....

Well i beleive that life is a train journey where u meet lots of people. Not all might be travelling to the same destination but they accompany u a short while and leave a lasting impression in the short time and they leave making us a better person.

Mixed Up Day

2005-03-04T05:13:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone.....

Today was a mixed day....ups and downs.....ie the usual day for me. We had a practical exam on Visual Basic.

Since it is the end of the week every teacher took it in turns to torture us to the core.... My Saturday was not spared... Oh i didnt tell u people what happened last saturday

It was a riot. Suddenly there came a rule into existence(which atleast my whole class had never heard of???)that jeans were not allowed on Saturday, the one day that my great college had allowed us.

What followed next was the humorous(satiric)part... All four main professors of our college were standing out... waiting like hawks swooping on unsuspecting preys and they were not disappointed.... they had quite a healthy fare that day.....

Some people like my friend Jude smiled at one of the dean and the dean smiled back(rather smirked) as he was wearing a tight and slightly short pant.... And the smiling session might have continued if not my friend realised that he had an exam to write. He was then allowed to enter.

The other scape goats like me were not so lucky...I went wearing jeans and all he said was "This is not acceptable young lady" i argued sayin it was a saturday and that the rule never came into existence till today.... He asked me to go home and then come back after having changed.

I thought to myself that i myst be one lunatic if I went back home all 17 kms in the bus and sweltering heat to come back again and attend the 1 hour class that could have been over :)

So i said ok sir and walked out of college...... Since a lot of my classmates were ship wrecked like me(I took it as a blessing in disguise to curl up at home or go out with friends and make even more of it than I would have in those classes)...... ha ha ha

Well I call him Baldy(one of the deans) who unfortunately shares the same zodiac sign as me andI hope to strangle him before anyone forms their opinion on me based on that....

That was easier said than done.... What about all the others who were moaning about their day having gone waste.... well I said stop crying over spilt milk and either go home and keep talking about it or enjoy the way u like.

Well I decided to grab a burger at Mc Donalds and I put on some sinful calories that day but it was worth it....

And tomorrow is Saturday....According to the heads of this institution we are supposed to be in smart casual...What the hell is smart casual ? I thought to myself.... I looked really smart in the jeans and it was casual wear then what in the world went wrong??? Ha ha ha ha ha ha

Well I am tired after that recount and would like to wish u all a great weekend ;-)

Me and My virus

2005-03-01T23:31:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone

Its that time of the year---changing seasons--- and new afflictions

Well I succumbed to the cold virus .....It started off with this curious ticklish feeling in the back of my throat... I took medications immediately.... (I know its all in the head, but I believe unless I have paid my doctor or chemist their fees the virus seems to cling on.....)

The sore throat diappeared as promised in 3 days. Its side effects were bad breath(what else after swallowing one pill after another) and so I managed to keep away all other viruses at bay :)

Then after three days what happens??? I get the most disgusting sounding and irritating cough that tends to literally mangle my intestines... woof... But this time I wanted to beat the virus at its own game so I refused to make anyone richer..... waited to see what its course of action would be....

That bloody thing seems to be infatuated with me ..... not leaving me one minute.... :-(

And to bring in the cherry topping on cake... On the fifth day my nose seems to be getting sadistic instincts drawn from the virus.... what I had always taken for granted... breathing.... got laboured.... that wretched virus seems to be enjoying all the attention it is getting for itself...

So I decided to ignore it.... whoa.... its effect seems to be receeding slowly... and yes it has grown weaker.... ha ha ha

Its sign that it still loves me....is my voice which has gone from Kajol's to Rani Mukherjee's voice....

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Hiatus and Back

2005-02-14T23:53:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone
I am back after a long hiatus...My life certainly is a roller coaster....never a dull moment...right now i am battling to remember my gmail password..And what do i get a jigsaw to solve and the question(i feel like kicking myseelf for having set it)"Which is the dream movie that captured my life".....well that was purely dumb as i have been given the pink slip to my account....Me and my humour

To top it all i had relatives coming over at my aunt's place(where i stay) on a long vacation themselves. This included an uncle and aunt who goes Sssnore...........Sssnore............instead of Zzzzzzz...... After a long day at college i come back home??? for this welcome. To top it all since it is a traditional set up i have to be (not myself)...didnt get??? Pretend.....which i detest.... and i decided to be myself which came quite as a shock to my granny and other older members(not only agewise but thoughtwise) give me the stares.

So i used to come back from college, have dinner, get ready to bed and Zzzzzzz..... much to their dismay as they were all planning to get me taliking on marriage and crap.

I swear if any of u know who was the great man(I m sure only the man was dumb enough to make stupid rules) who brought in the concept that marriage marked the truly great life for a woman..... ask him to be wary.... he ll get the beating of his lifetime...

Well I am tired after that polite outburst of mine... Ha Ha hA ...

Hi sweet cousin m eagerly awaiting ur comments!!!!

amidst all the cacophony i am supposed to be serenading to all holy events and waste my sunday
Why dont people understand that Sunday is Restday? after working all 5 days of the week why dont people wanna rest?

Well no more outpourings for the day.... Will wait for reviews

bye people

Life

2005-01-28T19:46:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone Its that time of the week that everyone loves to chill out. Well same here. But I could not help thinking that nowadays chilling out to many young people like u and me means-- having to spend money.... WHere have the good old days where chilling out meant going top a friends place and just hanging out doing nothing. What better way to relaxation than this?

Well i for one love spending money too....however sometimes(nowadays this is often) i feel MONEY has become the know all and be all for everyone.....however it is also the best thing to crib about especially when u dont have lots of money..... Ha HA ha

I was noticing yesterday how i was no longer able to see the sky unless i tilt my head upwards. Everywhere sky rise buildings have sprung up and wanting to look at the sky means having to develop a neck ache.... Well probably we might start to live in a dome in the years to come so that even sunlight wont affect our(oh so delicate) skins..... I love futuristic things... Hee hee....

Well will catch up with all of u later.
People send me some comments. Even if u have nothing good to tell....send in hate comments atleast.....

International work culture

2005-01-22T09:15:00.000-08:00

We had a class of International work culture today. Our teacher asked us to write one like and dislike of indian culture and foreign culture.
One classmate of mine mentioned "lack of profesional attitude" of indians.
That one comment led to so many opinions from all.I for one definitely thought that we indians are unprofessional.
How many times have we not seen a government official sleeping in his work times? How many times we keep seeing filth created by the very people who preach about cleanliness.

Results

2005-01-06T21:37:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was result day. Well actually every day had been results day since monday so the seriousness had gone away(for me atleast!!).
It finally came at 8 in the evening. Well the events before this was hilarious and stupid too.
There were cases of a girl who started crying well before .....citing the reason as "I cant take the waiting anymore" to a guy who went about out of his head.....scaring everyone that results had come and getting onto my nerves...

Well i got my results...had secured 86% the topper being 90%. Didnt feel anything....was surprised.... neither elated nor disgusted nor even ok about the whole issue...

Life has taken quite a serious note after all....

Back 2 the day to day grind

2005-01-03T21:30:00.000-08:00

Its back to studies, projects and lab sessions. The long trip finally came to an end. The new year came and went---- It seemed to be just another day and when people were wishing me--- It again flashed to me that maybe these things dont seem important any more to me.

I remember some 4 years back--one of my close friend(4 yrs older) told me that i would lose the enthusiasm i had for life(then) in the years to come. I vehemently opposed that. Today its the same path I am treading.

Nothing intersts me much except for my aims, money, my future and the relations i have.

I learnt"Nothing is permanent but change"

Me , Myself

2004-12-25T08:59:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone!!!
I have atlast fallen to the blog addiction. The latest victim ;-)}...... And all thanks to my kiddo cousin Shobha.
I am pursuing my post graduation in computers from Bangalore.
Will keep u posted about my interactions with life.......Hope this leads to some new experiences ....
Bye for now